The following is Part 2 of a self case study of My Voice Unchained.
Presenting Problem:
When My Voice Unchained resigned from her job, she only escaped from some people who exhibited toxic behaviors that made her life stressful. Yet, in severing those work ties, she was able to free herself from a toxic workplace that appeared to be a nesting ground for a lot of narcissistic, controlling, and manipulative personality types. Anyone at her job who showed traits of empathy, compassion, intuition, and great concern and/or passion for change within the environment constantly suffered from burnout.
Burnout is beyond what My Voice Unchained felt that led to her decision to end her employment. She was extremely exhausted and had reached a breaking point in having to constantly battle against controlling and manipulative personalities. Although she chose to walk away from a toxic working environment, cutting ties from the workplace was only half the problem. There are currently individuals in her personal life that induce a great amount of stress. Although workplace stress dramatically decreased in her life, there are still individuals who exhibit toxic character traits.
Additional stress is also induced by how My Voice Unchained reacts to and deals with each of these individuals. Currently, she reacts to stressful situations involving these individuals only in an assertive way when she feels she can be direct and does not have to walk on eggshells. Otherwise, she usually reacts passive aggressively based on how each individual interacts with her. Heightened moments of interactions with these individuals lead to a great amount of anxiety for her. These heightened moments can be as simple as a request made for time, assistance, or favors. Text messages and phone calls from these individuals is most often seen as a nuisance unless there has been a time of distance in contact.
My Voice Unchained is introverted in personality, and she requires extensive alone time. Her home is a sanctuary of peace and tranquility, and access to her home is only gained by invitation only. The one thing that these individuals have learned from experience is to never invite themselves to her home of peace and tranquility unannounced because these unannounced visits will surely lead to them experiencing a door that will never open even when she’s known to be inside [staring at them amusingly from a window]. If only My Voice Unchained had other boundaries that was just as secure as entry to her home, she would have no case studies for this blog.
Mentally, My Voice Unchained does suffer from periods of anxiety and depression, but periods of depression have surprisingly decreased in intensity over the years even though she stopped the intake of prescription antidepressants within the past year. Physically, she has entered the stage of menopause, and the physical aspects of this new phase of life currently overshadow the any mental aspects in reference to complaints about ailments. She reports that she’s never felt better mentally and expresses a great sense of peace and relief about not having to go to work everyday to a toxic environment.
Because My Voice Unchained wants live in peace, she often responds to others using indirect methods in an effort to maintain the status quo. For example, she listens without giving much feedback (sometimes referred to as the grey rock method), journals her thoughts for reflection, screens phone calls, and keeps herself busy to avoid any reason to meet with each individual one-on-one. She also devotes her time to activities she did not have time to enjoy while working a full time job. In essence, she is rediscovering a life of peace even though peace is not always so easily attainable.
Only one of the four primary relationships has she decided to go no-contact with by blocking the person from all forms of communication. This one relationship has proven to be extremely toxic and has been the longest narcissistic relationship she has had to deal with for most of her life. The remaining primary relationships are with people she’s identified with as friends, and they all exhibit narcissistic personality traits in varying degrees. Out of these remaining primary relationships, one is certifiably a narcissist although intelligently covert in their deployment of tactics. The remaining individuals have not been known long enough by My Voice Unchained to determine whether their narcissistic traits actually qualify them as narcissists, although their behaviors and character traits are worrisome nonetheless.
For the most part, cutting ties from any person is difficult for My Voice Unchained because once she connects with someone, she becomes a true friend. Her friends identify her as an empathetic, loyal, and dependable friend with great listening skills. In the most common terms, she is a “ride or die” type of friend. Yet, her boundaries can be elusive, and she finds herself often having to tighten boundaries to the point that she feels resentment for doing so. She does not understand why she must constantly stand her ground on the simplest of matters since relationships constitute an agreement between parties. She always rises to the occasion to meet the expectations of others regarding friendship, but she feels that her friendship expectations are not reciprocated in the same way if at all.
At best, she is strictest concerning boundaries with only one person out of all her primary relationships because this one person has demonstrated they will never change no matter how many boundaries My Voice Unchained enforces with them. This person is indeed a malignant narcissist, and because of this person’s refusal to respect boundaries, My Voice Unchained has been exasperated of all patience and trust and knows that a continued relationship with them is not possible.
Despite the lack of change from this narcissist, My Voice Unchained is indirectly encouraged by this narcissist to act with diligence and precaution concerning her remaining primary relationships because of an experienced and lived truth: Narcissists do not change their behavior; they just become better at craftily disguising their behavior to continue getting their narcissistic supply.
My Voice Unchained 