A Self Case Study (Possible Causes)

This is the Part 3 Self Case Study for My Voice Unchained.

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Possible Causes of the Presenting Problem:

Getting to the Root

My Voice Unchained was born the oldest of three children. From the time she was old enough to remember, she would know and understand feelings of rejection. The pain of rejection is an indescribable feeling because there is a mixture of emotions that produces a powerful punch to the gut, and that powerful punch is unforgettable. Through discernment and high intuition, My Voice Unchained would know rejection both overtly and covertly, and the pain of rejection would begin at birth (if not before).

The details surrounding the birth of My Voice Unchained are sketchy at best. What she does know is that she was born prematurely and encased within the amniotic sac. The latter of the two occurrences induced great superstitions shrouded in mysterious silence among family and other relatives. A lack of excitement permeated the birth for the maternal family, but the paternal family was overjoyed. My Voice Unchained was the first child and grandchild for the father’s side of the family. Interestingly enough, though, her birth had mixed reviews.

Together the parents seemingly doted on My Voice Unchained as it appeared to onlookers. Yet, no one could ever know that behind closed doors My Voice Unchained dealt with varying levels of neglect. Although it appeared My Voice Unchained had everything as a developing child and adolescent, she lacked a great deal. Love was an imbalance in her life. For the love she sought, she received in its place hate. This hate was internalized for her through feelings of shame, anxiety, guilt, rage, and deep hurt.

From an early age, she instinctively knew it was better for her to be seen and not heard. Her speaking was viewed as an extension of her family and not independent of them. This alone was representative of abuse, and the amount of abuse she endured throughout her time in this family unit was both unbearable and unspeakable. It wasn’t all bad for her, but when it was bad, it was horrible.

For many families, the family life is shown best as a picture of perfection. This was no different for the family of My Voice Unchained. Her family gave the impression of all being right in their world when this was far from the truth. When My Voice Unchained dared to speak and point out the inconsistencies, she was punished and ultimately branded a liar. For the sake of protecting a status quo, she suffered innumerable abuses that she always internalized and even accepted as her fault.

In addition to the in-home abuse, she suffered abuses outside of the family unit as well. Somehow, she was trained with unspoken words that abuse was acceptable and that she was unworthy to speak out against it even though she tried relentlessly in the pursuit of doing so. For the most part, she was gaslighted, shamed, and even threatened into concealing the abuse and any information about her perpetrators. If she dared speak out, she was branded an untrustworthy liar, and made to recant real events. These circumstances literally left her damaged beyond words.

Often, she felt barely able to stay afloat in the cesspool of horrors she suffered, but even worse was a developing depression she suffered in silence. Many times she tried to muster up the courage to talk to other adults she believed she could trust only to find that these adults were all a part of a silent establishment that maintained an atmosphere of abuse through ignorance. Outwardly, My Voice Unchained simply chose to remain mute, and even this display gave way to ridicule, rebuke, and forms of bullying from her peers. She just could not win.

For all the personality “quirks” pointed out by others that made My Voice Unchained appear to be different, she has always found solace through her introversion. She has always basked within her inner world by absorbing databases of information. She is a deeply compassionate and empathic thinker. She has always had an uncanny depth of ability to connect with and understand the feelings and emotions of others. In fact, she often connects with people at their core in a way that stuns them because of her depth of knowing, seeing and loving the “real” them. She also has the ability to connect pieces of information together like someone connecting a puzzle to form a complete picture. She enjoys helping others and often places the needs of others before her own needs.

Despite her troubled life, these personality traits of empathy, compassion, and depth are gems that have always kept her heart from hardening towards others. She’s always had a reason to believe that goodness within others exists despite the appearance of evil. To her fault, however, these gems have led her to believe so much for the best of people that she has frequently omitted even a microscopic glimpse of evil she’d be shown. This fault has made her extremely trusting and forgiving of others even when it has been clear they did not deserve this from her, and even when it has been clear they’d continue to use and abuse her.