A Self Case Study (Effects and Solutions)

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This is Part 4 of A Self Case Study of My Voice Unchained.

Cause and Effect

For My Voice Unchained, the causes of having lived in an environment that was at times depleted of love while producing stone cold consequences for violating the code of projected family perfection were many. Throughout her life, she went searching for love in all the wrong places. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. To date, she still hasn’t found what she is looking for where “love” is concerned because she has been much too busy weeding out imposters who project the same stone cold perfection that resembled her childhood environment.

Most people who have met My Voice Unchained over the years have been most attracted to the outward confidence she exudes. She possesses a keen sense of awareness about people and the environment around her. Once people get to know her, they find that her outward confidence comes from an inward possession of self-esteem and self-validation. Despite her meek and often docile outer appearance, she has a confident strong sense of self. She is anything but docile and has often been described as strong-willed and often outspoken in matters of justice.

Despite the confidence My Voice Unchained exudes, many of her friends have marveled at the fact that she is an extreme introvert who prefers staying away from gatherings of more than two people and can disappear off the grid for days at a time without so much as a word. Many of her friends also find that she is cool, calm, and collected in the most stressful situations. Plus, her empathic and sacrificial nature make her the friend that people turn to for a listening ear and shoulder to lean on when they have a need.

Unfortunate is the fact that many of the great qualities that My Voice Unchained possesses make her a continual target for narcissists, enablers, and others with controlling and manipulative personalities. Thus, many solutions are warranted in her case to help alleviate the inner turmoil she often feels when dealing with these vampiristic people. One solution is to simply cut these toxic personalities out of her life. That way she never has to deal with them. Of course, this is easier said than done and requires a level of maintenance that readers of this post might not believe needs to be done unless they can relate to the experiences of having dealt with such personality types.

A second solution is to establish and maintain boundaries with these personalities. The boundaries must be required for narcissists and people with narcissistic traits. There can be no leeway. If you give an inch, they will take a mile. Currently, this has been a battle with some of the narcissists for My Voice Unchained because these people certainly see a boundary as a challenge meant to be conquered, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes them in their attempts. Narcissists are known for being competitive; they don’t give up. If they believe they can get an edge on you, they will most definitely exercise several attempts before deciding another source of narcissistic supply is worth more their time.

A third solution is to find a support system. My Voice Unchained has two friends with healthy behaviors that she can just chill with and enjoy toxic-free moments of relaxation and entertainment, but it’s actually rare that she will speak to them about the ongoing issues with narcissists in her life. These conversations in themselves can be draining because of the never-ending cycle of craziness. Not to mention, these two friends also deal with these types of personalities in their lives as well. If there is constant talk about them every time they get together, then the good times to just chill are no longer good times to just chill.

A fourth solution is to find some type of therapeutic way to deal with the stress that comes with these toxic relationships. For a time, My Voice Unchained did receive therapy. In fact, she saw a number of therapists. Yet, to her dismay, some of these therapists had narcissistic traits themselves or had very little experience in dealing with clients with narcissistic personality disorder. When she finally settled on a therapist, a narcissistic “friend” also settled on making the same therapist her therapist too. Therefore, therapy eventually came to an end even though there were a host of other reasons for ending therapy besides sharing a therapist with a narcissist.

Although there are other solutions to employ against narcissists, those solutions will be discussed later as additional narc case studies continue. The plan is to discuss in detail how other solutions My Voice Unchained initiated that helped her to navigate through the terrain of chaos that narcissists, controllers, manipulators, and enablers brought into her life. These will hopefully be helpful in a way to provide insight on what you can do (or not do) to protect yourself from the onslaught of narcissistic personalities.

Stay tuned …