The narcissistic cycle of abuse has three phases. The narcissist will abuse you by idealizing (honeymoon phase), devaluing (tension building phase), and discarding (abuse escalation phase).
From my personal experience the phases always begin and then move in the chronological order: idealizing, devaluing and discarding. Yet, as time progresses and a narcissist becomes more imbedded within my life, the phases of abuse cycle about in a dizzying whirlwind with no particular order leaving me traumatized as if I have been repeatedly thrown back and forth from one amusement park thrill ride to another.
For the most part, once a narcissist has come along into my life as if to step in sync with me, there is no particular order or length of time that a phase might even last. Yet, there are always tell-tale signs of what phase I am about to experience with a narcissist. Plus, based on my reactions to the narcissist while in a particular phase, the narcissist will also determine how long the phase will last.
One of the best deterrents for ending the abuse phases is to end the relationship with a narcissist. It is not enough that a narcissist discards you. I have found I must discard the narcissist and keep them out of my life for good. That seems like it could be an easy task, but if it were, I would not be dealing with the number of narcissistic types of personalities I am dealing with right now.
Stay tuned as I explain each phase with current examples. I will also continue the blog topic concerning the narc case study regarding my parents, but for now, I need to take a break from the story of my parents. I hope you understand.
My Voice Unchained 