Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com
If the myths surrounding en caul births are true, then I was born “with a veil over me” providing me with a keen, deep sensitivity and awareness. Gifts of discernment, intuition, empathy, and high sensitivity would be my closest friends. My way to take in the environment as a young child was through my five senses … seeing via observation being my strongest sense.
When I observe, I just do not use my sight. All of my senses seem to be utilized to the point that I can have triggers in the present that put me on alert to something that happened in the past. Despite this gift, it took me a long time to understand what was happening or how to manage this gift.
A gift it was and is, though, and I would not appreciate for years until I began encountering more narcissistic individuals than I could handle because the pain I endured through relating with them was so horrific. Now, as I recall different levels of narcissistic abuse from my past, I find that my observations stored as memory solidifies so much that happened to me.
Recalling Narcissistic Abuse
My first recall of narcissistic abuse was at the hand of my parents within a home environment that I had no way of knowing was not normal until I stepped out of it and encountered other people. I did not realize that much of the abuse I endured was not only not normal by any set standard but was also a shared but silent experience in other households within my community. People lived public lives that in no way mirrored the lives they truly lived behind closed doors. This mirrors the old cliché of “what happens in this house, stays in this house”.
My recall of narcissistic abuse is quite extensive, and there is most likely no way I will be able to share it all. However, I would like to share enough to help explain the journey that I have been on with the hopes that my experiences might be relatable as well as helpful to anyone who reads it. So, in the next few posts, I will focus on my recall of the narcissistic abuse that shaped me, prepared me, and humbled me into the person that I am today.
As a disclaimer, I want to express that in no way do I want to paint a horrible picture of the people that I experienced this abuse from even though I cannot control what a reader may think. My life experiences were what they were then. There are some things I just cannot change even if people have changed themselves. I am simply going to tell my story.
Please stay tuned for what is to come. Look out for Narc Studies – Recalling Narcissistic Abuse.
My Voice Unchained 