Waves of Silence

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Waves of Silence

Hello everyone! I hope you are well. As for me, I have been away from my blog a little too long. I was exhausted and needed some time to breathe. I needed to take a break. There have been a lot of changes taking place in my life, and I have ventured upon a few new endeavors. Now that I have my grounding, I am finally able to gain control of the waves that I had crashed into during my time of silence.

In fact, I have experienced personal waves of silence as these waves relate to my life. I am venturing into new territory, and a part of that new territory is called “aging”. I am aging, and I am aging alone. That knowledge within itself brings me upon a wave of silence. So I took some time to think about my life … my life as it relates to narcissists in particular. Just dealing with narcissists was enough for me to stop and take a break and allow myself to experience the waves of silence.

A Life Without Waves

Since breaking away from my job and career last year to live a life of complete solitude away from the drama of everyday bustling and chaotic workspace, I have gained new perspective as to how I want to live my life. The fact is, I love the ocean. I love the waves. I love the sound that the waves make when they roll across the sand. I love to see them shrink back into sea. The sound that the waves make brings me peace and calm. It’s a sound that I love so much when I sit on the beach.

As much as I love the ocean waves, I do not like the waves that I have always dealt with when it comes to my life. The waves of life are not easy to surf. I do not even know how to surf upon the ocean waves. So it is no surprise that the waves of life have been tough for me. I do not like dealing with them as they pertain to drama, and wherever there is a narcissist in my life, there is always some drama. Despite my attempts to keep drama in my life at bay, narcissists always have a way of coming around to attempt to create drama where they see I have no drama.

Since being away from my old job, there has been a lot less drama in my life, and I simply enjoy it. When I do hear from any of the narcissists within my life, I realize just how much I bask in the freedom to not have their own waves come into my life. The sounds and the motions of their waves brings much trepidation to my life. I long for peace and calm. Since it’s my life, I can navigate it in the way that I choose that is best for me. So I have taken some time to ponder just how very little I want the dramatic waves of the remaining narcissists within my life to remain in my life. I can say that I want to be free. I have to be free. I need to be free. I will be free.

I truly want the waves that narcissists bring into my life to abate and calm. More so, I want their waves gone. Narcissists bring tsunamis of waves that constantly seek out my destruction even when there are times on the surface things really do not seem so bad. The truth, however, remains that the waves narcissists create are always destructive and intensely and intently so. They hate my existence. They purposefully bring their waves to cause me destruction.

I want my life without the destructive waves of narcissists. I must have peace. Over the past two weeks, I have gathered significant content within me that I want to express soon – things that I have learned and things that I have experienced. I want to be able to express the truth of my life with greater transparency. So I took some time to travel upon the waves of silence so that I could figure out the direction I want to take.

Please stay tuned for more. There is so much yet to unfold …