My Breaking Point

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My Breaking Point

I have reached my breaking point. I have decided the best part of my journey is to walk alone. I would rather walk alone than to be accompanied by a narcissist. I am breaking free! I am breaking away! I have reached my breaking point on this journey that always seems to be so filled with narcissists. I do not know about the journey of others, but I would imagine that if others’ journeys are anything like mine, there is always a breaking point when dealing with narcissists. I have reached mine.

After exposing one of the narcissists in my life of her behavior in one of the most subtlest ways that I now realize that she understood to be my exposure of her, I have decided to simply close the door to that narcissistic relationship. I blocked her from contacting me. I closed down social media access, and I blocked phone communication. Sooner or later, she will figure out that she is unable to contact me.

Since The Identity Thief has only been to my house once in all the years that I have known her, I can only envision that she will come to my house as a last ditch effort to save herself from losing me as narcissistic supply. Yet, I think she has bigger fish to fry when it comes to supply. Her latest devaluing comments were enough for me to reflect back on and realize that I was too tired to continue with this charade of a “frenemaniac” friendship.

This is a narcissist that I have known for over 15 years, and for all of those 15 years, I have had enough time to discern that she is indeed a narcissist. If I were a clinical therapist, I would indeed diagnose her with narcissistic personality disorder because she embodies all of the traits. She would indeed be what I would call a clinical narcissist. If I had remained in school and completed my master’s degree in mental health counseling, I would definitely know narcissistic personality disorder as a correct diagnosis. I would even go as far as to label her a sociopath, but that is for another post.

Needless to say, this is the narcissist that I referred to in a previous post as The Identity Thief since over the years she has stolen bits and pieces of my identity to mask her own narcissistic personality. That way, when she is with others, they do not see her for who she really is as a person. Her friends literally see me and whoever else she has stolen from to create her new identity when presenting herself to the public.

The Identity Thief’s ways of stealing identities are insidious. No one would even know that this is the case – that she’s stealing the identities of others, and I discovered this fact only after a five-year hiatus from her as I reassessed the friendship I had with her and completed a study on narcissistic personality disorder. I learned she fits the criteria of a narcissist after three years of knowing her, but I foolishly believed that I could help her. I thought love was enough. I should have never accepted her back into my life, but then, I was not aware that I was being hoovered back into the cesspool of toxicity. Shame on me!

BUT … I reached my breaking point with her, and with the two weeks of the silent treatment she was giving me because I exposed her qualities to her even though subtly, I decided to extend the silence by cutting her out of my life. Enough is enough, and I no longer want to continue in a toxic friendship that only serves her narcissistic supply and serves me heartache. So, after more than 15 years (she likes to say 20), I have ended this situation that has more than broken me numerous times … that has pushed me to a final breaking point … that has caused me to muster up the courage I needed to have to walk away.