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I Dared To Cut Off The Identity Thief
I had apparently caught The Identity Thief by surprise when I dared to cut off contact with her. I am not really sure what was going on in her life that made her super aware that my presence no longer exited within her realm, but the moment she sensed that I was gone, she came after me in a far more literal sense that left me flabbergasted and without the proper words to address her. In fact, I had no words to address her. I was simply shocked to say the least.
I dared to go no-contact with this narcissist, and things only went so far. I suddenly realized that there was silence from her for two weeks, and I was sure that it had to do with me calling her out on behavior that she had brandished towards me in a ruthless yet subtle way. I assumed that to get back at me, she went silent as a way to punish me. That was okay and expected, but when I realized that we had not talked for two weeks, I decided to make my everlasting move to freedom.
When two weeks of silence became three, I decided to completely cut her off. I blocked her from having any access to me (almost). We were still linked on one social media site, but I barely use social media overall and had completely shrunk my presence away from all sites over the past few months. With the exception of Twitter and my Instagram page for content related to narcissistic personality disorder, I have no need to interact on social media.
Needless to say, I took the three weeks of her silence as my sign to silence her in my life for good. I went no-contact and enjoyed my life in a way that released The Identity Thief to the best of my abilities. Into week six is when she finally took notice of my disappearance. Based on her reaction when she showed up at my place, she had grown worried when I had not responded to any of her text messages or phone calls. When I did not respond to her on one of the social media site that I had inadvertently left open to her, she felt frantic. However, she failed to mention a pertinent thing. I searched her eyes waiting for her to mention it, but she never did.
Things I Found Suspicious About The Identity Thief’s Sudden Appearance
There were so many suspicious things that stood out to me about the Identity Thief’s sudden appearance to my home. I can understand where she is coming from on being worried about me, but I really did not buy into it. I did not buy into it at all. Perhaps what she did to determine whether I was safe would be the logical thing for anyone showing concern to do, but I was not all the way buying into what she said about it. I smelled a dirty rat, and despite the fact that I have never smelled a live dirty rat before, her con game wreaked of the scent.
First, this narcissist showed up to my home unannounced. I would think that if she had true concern, she would have called the police if she felt I was in any real danger. Of course, I had cut off her ability to contact me, but I think that if she had real concern that I was in any danger, she would have called the police immediately. Instead, she called her mother. She knew what was up!
Second, this narcissist rang my doorbell in such a frantic manner that it was clear to me that if my home had human qualities and was dying, she would have certainty resuscitated my home back to life. She rang the doorbell on beats in succession. When I looked out through the peephole, her face showed a determined sense of urgency. Something within her must have given her the sense that I was home even though my car was nowhere to be seen. She was determined to make me appear at the door as if her life depended on it. Why would her first thought not have been that maybe I was not home?
Second, she was not alone. Her husband came with her. Yet, the entire time she interacted with me, he stayed in the car. He only looked up when she waved goodbye to me. Otherwise, the entire time he was sitting in the car, I glanced to see him with his head down on his phone. Between the two of them, she was the only one with a sense of urgency about my supposed safety. Of course, I know that this was not a welfare check on my behalf. The Identity Thief was only at my home because I had escaped and gone no-contact with her.
Third, she showed emotion without feelings. Yes, I saw her cry and hysterically break down. I was even moved to hug her, but I never felt one shred of emotion coming from her at all. Unless my empathic feelings were shut down with her, I could feel no sense of emotion coming from her tears. For all I know, she conjured those crocodile tears up as an act. As I watched her, I tried to figure out where her tears were coming from. Were her tears really for me?
As soon as I reached in to hug her, I realized that her tears were all about her. In fact, she seemed to hint to me as being the source of her pain … that I was causing her such distress because I could not be contacted. Yet, all the while, she came across as if she were so concerned that something had happened to me. I was being chastised in a very subtle way for bringing her out to look for me, and there I was apologizing for causing her hurt. She had accomplished what she set out to do in the first place! How dare I leave her!
Fourth, she never mentioned the true extent that she had gone to to capture me. She never mentioned that she had her mother both message me and call me. Instead, she mentioned how she called a nearby hospital to see if I was there. Really? I did not believe her. She even mentioned hoping to talk with my neighbors if I did not answer the door. She had so many what-if scenarios about what could have happened to me, and with each mention she seemed to want to connect me as the blame for causing her so much stress.
So … let me get this straight. She gives me the silent treatment for two weeks. My response is to raise her a silence for good by going no-contact. She figures out that I have gone no-contact and decides to come after me and then blame me for the silence. Okay, I see. I cannot make this stuff up. This literally happened, and she stands in my face lying the whole time not mentioning pertinent details of the story so that it would appear she was so worried about me.
Her fake cries and her forced panic were all conditions she created to stir my emotions. I reached in to hug her because I thought it would be rude of me not to do so. At first, I thought she was literally shaken to her core, and indeed she probably was but not over how she originally portrayed herself. I stood questioning what was wrong with me because I could not feel any of her emotions. I stood wondering why she felt so hollow when I hugged her and why I could not feel the well of tears within her … a well that I normally feel anytime a hug a person who has been moved to emotion whether there are tears or not.
The Identity Thief was only shaken to her core because she literally thought she lost me. She thought she lost her narcissistic supply. I thought she lost narcissistic supply. In fact, I was hoping she would lose me as narcissistic supply. I am not even her primary supply source because she has a husband. Plus, she has other suppliers too. I do not even regard myself as the best of her supply either. In my eyes, it should have been very easy for her to just let me go. Does she not think I am a pain otherwise?
Yet, even more suspicious was the fact that The Identity Thief did not contact me for days after her visit despite her great concern about me while standing in my home with me. I assume that once she knew that her narcissistic supply was fine and immobilized for her sake, she could breathe a great sigh of relief. I recall the last moments of her standing in front of me being very awkward for both of us. She claimed that my physical stance and reaction made it seem as if she had overreacted in her concern for me. I did not respond.
In fact, from the time she arrived until the time she left, there was nothing in my demeanor that deviated from the script. I kept my composure. I did not seem to react. I could not even feel reactions (neither mine nor hers). I just watched and made mental notes. I was silently trying to figure out if I had been too cruel in my no-contact or whether I had caused her narcissistic fear to implode, and I figure it was more the latter than anything.
My no-contact was only cruel in the sense that it left her no way to respond or react to me. I had walked out of her life silently, and apparently, my silence provoked her to action. The last scene of her at my home was her and her husband backing out of my driveway with the sun raze shining through the back window of their car. It was then that her husband lifted his gaze from his phone to wave at me as she waved (as if to wave on cue). Why had he even come along? Why had she not brought her mother whom she had used to reach out to me twice but never once mentioned while she was in my home?
It was all so strange; however, probably the most profound thing I found suspicious includes my own reaction to her standing in my home. I had the chance to tell her what I really felt about her, but I was silent. I was literally a voice chained in my own home. It may have been that I was stunned that she had dared to show up to my home after only having visited me once the entire time that I have lived at the address. Yet, I was alert and playing it safe. This woman owns guns. She is a target shooter. In the past few months, I have both seen and heard her mention this fact numerous times. So, I had to be careful. She could have pulled out a gun and shot me in my own home. If she was that desperate to have me as her narcissistic supply, she could have harmed me.
So I just stood there, and I listened to her, and I watched her. I listened and watched for subtle nuances inside and outside as well as all around us. I let my discernment kick in, and I “read” the energy of the atmosphere. I let her drain me of my energy and replace her own energy with mine. I let her subtly blame me for her misfortune of sadness as she struggled through the hours realizing that I had simply vanished from her life (trying to save myself). I let her cry. I let her break down before me. I freely allowed her to devour my energy source for my own protection. Yet, I took it all in and knew in my heart that she was cunningly using this episode as ammunition for later exploits against me.
I was honestly not sure what she was capable of because of her frantic behavior. So, as usual, I became an absorbent sponge just taking everything all in and only expelling what I could later while drowning in a cesspool of illness after she left my presence. In the spiritual realm, whatever it is that possesses her immobilized me for a few days and sent me into a tailspin of unhappiness. My entire mood shifted into a dark place, and when I realized what was happening, I fought my way out of it to land back on my feet so that I could prepare for the upcoming battle against this woman who seeks to annihilate my identity. I do not belong to her or any other narcissist. This is war. I am a voice unchained, and I knew I had no choice but to prepare for battle.
My Voice Unchained 