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Back On Track With Rain
I am not sure exactly what happened between Rain and the loud and annoying colleague, but their relationship seemed to be strained all because of the prolonged stay of the loud and annoying colleague’s family and friends. As is the case with narcissists, they trash talk their narcissistic supply behind their backs. To me, Rain complained that the loud and annoying colleague was just that: loud and annoying. Rain voiced that the loud and annoying colleague had great insecurities and was not the loyal person that she had once believed her to be. I actually felt that the loud and annoying colleague was actually more loyal to Rain than me because she did the absolute in attempting to stay in Rain’s good graces. Yet, Rain concluded that the loud and annoying colleague’s family and old friends should not be more important than her, but they obviously were, and for Rain, that was a problem.
Of course, there I was being that great friend listening to Rain’s problems. Inside, however, I was also glad to finally have been dusted off of Rain’s shelf of ornaments to be in her presence again. I had missed her, and although I we both had other friends (mine being just as narcissistic as she was at the time), I thought that Rain and I had a remarkable bond of friendship that was unique to us. I missed the joy that I thought she could bring to certain areas of my life that other friends could not. Looking back, though, I could not have been more deceived and wrong. I had quickly forgotten the agonizing lows her friendship actually brought me. Rained literally rained on me a lot. Her rain often did not let up. So when she came back as a bit of sunshine, it literally felt good to me. So I basked in what I perceived to be her warmness. Silly me!
Nevertheless, it seemed that our friendship was back on track. I had foolishly seen the loud and annoying colleague’s part in it all as a major distraction, but I did not understand how narcissists work. I did not know that it was now the loud and annoying colleague’s turn to be placed on Rain’s shelf of ornaments to sit and collect dust. In fact, it never dawned on me that Rain had a multitude of ornaments which she took turns placing on her dusty shelf. She had a lot of friends and associates! She was an extreme socialite. She seemed to know everyone, and everyone seemed to know her. For all the people that she knew, I wondered how I came to be the only friend she claimed she could depend on. In fact, when it was all said and done, and she was making a move, I was the only friend who was actually there for her. It was almost too late when I came to understand the reason why.
Until Things Were Off Track With Rain
Rain had decided to move. She desired to relocate for a different position. It was no secret to anyone at work that her position was beneath her. She was setting her sights on loftier positions and found a position two hours away in another city. Although I hated to see her go, I was supportive of her transition. I am not going to lie though. I was honestly ready for a break from her too. She was exhausting to say the least, and her everchanging moods within the narcissistic abuse cycle against me were often too much to bear particularly when I never knew what to expect. When she rained, she poured.
Needless to say, she wanted me to help her with her move, and I was a more than loyal friend. I was actually happy to help because she was my friend. The loud and annoying colleague was nowhere to be seen. She did not help at all with this move, but instead gave Rain a going away party. I helped Rain with the bulk of the move by helping her pack, clean out her apartment, and literally load her things into my vehicle to trek the two-hour drive to her new place over a weekend where I stayed to help her unpack only to drive back into my home area eight hours before I was to return to work the next day.
I actually made several weekend trips to help Rain get settled into her new place. In the midst of helping Rain, however, there were situations that occurred that tested me and our friendship. I began to see that Rain could bring about quite a destructive thunderstorm of intentional pain. This was around the time that I began to see that Rain had evil intent behind her words towards me. I began to see the duplicity of who she was both with others and with me. I began to understand why her friends were not always around her. I began to understand that I was just an element among other elements in her world. I also began to understand that I really did not matter to her.
Rain was great at showering love bombs all over the place, but she was just as great at raining down devaluations. Her words could cut like a knife into the core of a person’s being. She could hurl hateful insults like a professional. I was never quite sure what to expect. Rain was a fair weather friend. Her winds blew in and out, and when her storms were raging, she gave a mighty discard. It was easy for her to be dismissive. She did not care. All the while I was wishing for to change, my continued friendship was almost my undoing.
Stay tuned for more to this story because there’s definitely more.
My Voice Unchained 