Mr. Charm

Mr. Charm

Mr. Charm was an overtly mesmerizing narcissist I met on a trip overseas. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Yet, at first glance, he was not my type at all. In fact, I had no interest in him because of his overt arrogance.

He eventually wore me down and won me over with his zany sense of humor, and one thing I love to do is laugh. Laughter has always been good medicine for my soul. Laughter has been one of the reasons I have survived narcissistic abuse.

First Meeting

I first met Mr. Charm during a planning meeting to discuss the itinerary for the trip overseas. He walked into the meeting room after I did, and his presence was annoyingly overpowering. He is extremely extroverted and entered the room with a lot of laughter and loud talking. I could tell right away, he was about being the “life of the party”.

I was immediately put off by him because I thought he was just being too extra as if all eyes needed to be on him. It was apparent that others who knew him were accustomed to his type of behavior based on how they all responded to his antics. I was not amused at all. I was also clearly not the only one who was annoyed by what appeared to be immature behavior.

Although this meeting included a lot of people who were familiar with each other, I had not been a part of this circle of people in quite some time. I was on a healing journey away from this group of people. So, I was an unfamiliar face for Mr. Charm, and he was unfamiliar to me. Seeing me for the first time seemed to spark his interest, and he was immediately behaving as if he were drawn to me.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw him making a straight line in my direction. Inside of myself, I groaned hoping that he would get a clue from my facial expression and body language that I did not want to be bothered. I could only hope though. He did not get the clue. He did not read the expression on my face nor my body language which I was certain gave off the expression “Don’t come near me, buddy!”

“Hi! My name’s Mr. Charm. Is this seat taken?” he asked as he pointed to the available seat next to me. I recall responding with a huge drip of sarcasm which actually made him laugh. I was nice enough to him not to be too rude, but I was also limiting my responses to him so as not to engage him in any unnecessary conversation. I had already determined that we had nothing in common with each other based on our general personalities. He is an extrovert, and I am an introvert.

My sarcasm did not deter him. He sat down right next to me and proceeded to chat incessantly about a whole lot of nothing. I could only watch his mouth move as he talked a mile per second. His presence was overpowering in a way that felt somewhat jarringly too comfortable, but at that moment I was too busy attempting to take him all in. I was in a “Christian” setting and did not want to give off a negative vibe myself. I knew that I was being watched by others. So I played it cool, but inside of myself, I was wishing that Mr. Charm would stop with the dramatics.

Once the meeting was underway, I figured Mr. Charm would become more serious. He did not. He joked all throughout the meeting, and this was annoying for me. Call me stuffy, but I feel like there is a time and place for humor, and this meeting was not the place. I believe others agreed with my sentiments as well because a few times some of the people made shushing sounds. I hated that he was sitting next to me.

I felt second-hand embarrassment, but he seemed oblivious that his behavior was even a problem. He smiled and laughed throughout the discussions, and I felt myself sinking further into myself from dread. Why couldn’t he just be quiet and listen. I felt like I was in a classroom with a class clown who kept others from paying attention to important facts.

I was so glad when the meeting ended. I was not going to see this person for another three months. Hopefully, by the trip, he might be different or I might be different, but I was sure I was not going to be interested in anything further. I was not even attracted to him. I considered him a nuisance and did not want to waste my time focused on a nuisance during the trip. Boy was I in for it, and I was totally unaware of it. Mr. Charm had already scoped me out enough to figure out how to wedge his way into my life whether I was interested or not.

Stay tuned for more to this story on Mr. Charm.