Mr. Charm – Sly Like A Fox
Three months after the first meeting for the overseas trip, I began making preparations to go on adventure to a different land. I had all but forgotten my interaction with Mr. Charm. In fact, I had made a determination not to entangle myself with anyone on this journey. I was seeking to heal from previous hurts with some of the very people who were also going on this trip too.
To keep myself focused on the aspects of my healing and to distract myself from entanglements, I invited my father as a travel companion. This trip was my gift to my dad since he had always wanted to go to the trip’s final destination. I figured this trip would be an opportunity for the two of us to connect in a way we had not throughout my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. It turned out to be a whole lot more, but that is for another story.
Needless to say, the trip was packed with adventure, lessons, and a lot of insightful moments. There was extensive sight-seeing on this trip, and I indulged in every moment of it with my camera. I fell in love with the country and even developed a crush on the tour guide. It was my first emotional connection with anyone of the opposite sex outside of a former relationship with a narcissist I almost married 10 years prior. I was feeling good about myself on this trip because I had come a long way.
In my peripheral view throughout this trip, I occasionally would see Mr. Charm, but I rarely engaged with him during the first half of the trip at all. In fact, Mr. Charm was a nonfactor for me. I never even took note of his attempts to engage with me in contact during the early moments of the trip until I was told by an onlooker that Mr. Charm appeared very interested in getting to know me.
Even my dad made note of the fact that I seemed so very aloof to the fact that Mr. Charm was advancing towards me like a sly fox, but I seemed very uninterested in him. I seemed that way because I was in fact not interested in Mr. Charm at all. I found his personality to be somewhat overbearing and loud. So I attempted to stay clear of him.
The tour coordinator made me aware that she saw my attempts to avoid Mr. Charm and found it all quite humorous. She was certain that Mr. Charm really liked me. She mentioned this fact to me several times throughout the trip, but I was just indifferent. My mind was elsewhere. Plus, I was certain that another woman on the trip had a crush on Mr. Charm. In fact, there I noted attempts by the woman’s mother to match the two together despite Mr. Charm’s openly flirtatious monologues with me during the latter portion of the trip.
An Interaction That Sparked Change
Midway through the trip, I had not even noticed how Mr. Charm was finding his way within my vicinity. I had been too focused on certain aspects of the trip to even bother with him. Yet, on one particular tour ride, he changed his seating, and the next thing I knew, he had turned to me to indulge me in conversation. There was a moment in one of our conversations that we shared a laugh, and it was at that moment that there was a recognizable spark I sensed between us.
Deep down, I knew it was not a spark of love or attraction. It is more the spark that I feel with someone when I sense we have connected in some way that makes me feel safe. It was at that moment that I felt more open to communicating with Mr. Charm. Any walls that I attempted to keep me barricaded from being open to him had inadvertently come tumbling down. It did not take me long to realize that Mr. Charm was a fun person, and I needed fun to damper some of the tension that I was feeling with others on this trip.
The spark of connection between Mr. Charm and I was so strong that it was obviously felt or at least sensed by others including the woman who had a crush on Mr. Charm. The look in her eyes signified that she was upset that he had taken an interest in me. Her once friendly banter with me quickly turned sour, and she no longer talked to me during the rest of the trip. In fact, I look back on that time and realize that Mr. Charm knew this woman had a crush on him and used his proximity to me to triangulate us as he spurned her advances towards him.
Needless to say, however, the spark that existed between Mr. Charm and I turned out to be my own light that he had somehow managed to switch on and reflect back to me. Of course, I was not aware of that narcissistic technique then as I had only begun to gain minimal understanding of how the narcissistic personality works to gain supply. I was in for quite a few lessons though. Thanks to Mr. Charm, I learned extensive lessons about overt male narcissists and how they are as sly as foxes.
Stay tuned for more to this story to find out how I was charmed by Mr. Charm.
My Voice Unchained 