Camping With A Not So Charming Mr. Charm

Camping With A Not So Charming Mr. Charm

Once Mr. Charm introduced me to his surrogate family, we went about setting up camp. In all attempts possible, I tried setting up my tent but was unsuccessful. When I reached out to Mr. Charm for help, he would not oblige and basically said that I needed to figure it out. So I attempted to figure it out. All the while, Mr. Charm had successfully set up his tent and walked towards the river bank to chill.

After a while, Mr. Charm’s best friend came over to assist me when he saw me struggling. He found that my tent was missing parts. He suggested that Mr. Charm take me back into town to find a replacement, but Mr. Charm was unwilling to do so. He basically said once in the camp there was no leaving. He literally refused to help me. I remember the look that Mr. Charm’s best friend gave me. It was a look of compassion, but basically, we both knew that I was stuck and at Mr. Charm’s mercy. I was unable to set up my tent and did not really know what to do. For reasons unbeknownst to me, Mr. Charm was stonewalling me and somewhat giving me the silent treatment.

Later on, when it was time to eat, I sat with the group in silence. Mr. Charm’s body language was distant towards me and he would not even acknowledge my presence. Except for Mr. Charm’s best friend and surrogate mother asking me questions to engage me, no one was really talking to me. In those moments, I realized that accepting the invitation to this camping trip had been a mistake. I felt a sadness inside and immediately wished I could click my heels and go home. Even now as I think about it all, I can feel that emotional sadness even though that was close to 15 years ago. It is a terrible feeling to be somewhere stuck with a narcissist and unable to get away.

I scanned the day’s events to determine what I had done wrong. I could not think of anything. Eventually, it was bedtime. So, after sitting by the river around the fire, mostly everyone decided to turn in for bed. I walked to the campsite bathrooms and showers. There, I encountered the companion of Mr. Charm’s bestfriend. She was not too friendly. She only responded to me because I attempted to strike up a conversation with her. Because it felt like dead weight to talk to her, I gave up. I got myself ready for a night of camping out either by the river’s campfire or on the back of Mr. Charm’s truck since I was tentless.

When I walked back to the truck to gather my stuff, I walked over towards the riverbank near the campfire we had used earlier and sat down on a lounge chair placing my sleeping bag on the side. I decided that I had no other option but to camp out in this spot. Shortly after attempting to get settled with my sleeping bag, Mr. Charm walked over and sat down next to me in a lounge chair that was next to me. He was quiet and solemn. I assumed he was going to offer an apology regarding his cold behavior towards me. I was wrong. He definitely owed me an apology though. He had to have known that his behavior towards me was wrong. His silence was deafening but far different that the silent treatment. I sensed that he wanted to speak but did not know what to say. I refused to offer him any assistance with finding the words. I was tired.

If anything, I have learned that even if narcissists behave as if they are sorry, their behavior counts as nothing if they do not say they are sorry. I was much too willing to let bygones be bygones. I was much too willing to accept an apology that had never been spoken based on behavior that appeared to be remorseful when there was really no remorse at all. I would later realize Mr. Charm’s actions at that moment were merely a set up for his own personal agenda. He was behaving towards me in a way that testified to me (and should have testified to everyone else) that he had revealed his true self. His masked had slipped to reveal his “meanness”, and that was why he was sorry.

Instead of taking me into town to get another tent or replacement parts, he offered to let me stay in his tent in exchange for him sleeping on the riverbank. I was appreciative and took him up on the offer since I feared the spiders I had seen earlier on the sand. It was a welcomed relief. I did not dare touch the subject of his behavior for fear he would be set off and relent his offer. It was a strange circumstance which I filed away for future reference. I thanked him for being able to have a place to sleep. Hours later, I awakened to him sleeping in his sleeping bag next to me in the tent. Was this what he wanted?

The Next Morning

The next morning I questioned Mr. Charm about being in the tent. He gaslighted me by saying that he had told me that he would probably come into the tent for sleep if it got cold. Of course, he never said that to me, but there was nothing I could really do when it was his tent. I reasoned with myself that at least he had his own sleeping bag. I also reasoned that there was certainly enough room for more than two people since the tent was so large. Yet, I did not appreciate what felt like an intrusion to me, but I kept that to myself. We got up to get ourselves ready for the rest of the day. The plan was to go on a boat ride and some deep river fishing.

During breakfast, I did not really say much, but I had assisted in preparations. There was really not much I could say. I did not know this surrogate family, and I sensed that there was something going on underneath the surface that I was not privy to. I sensed the “walking on eggshells” vibe within the atmosphere; I proceeded with caution. I stayed silent and did my best to stay out of the way. As we all ate, there was lite conversation. Mr. Charm was excitedly expressive as usual, but something with the surrogate family was off.

Mr. Charm went back and forth with his surrogate father and best friend over some debate regarding fishing and the day’s outing. I sensed tension but did not know the reason for it. Occasionally, the best friend’s companion would chime in her thoughts, and she and Mr. Charm would laugh. I did not think anything of their behavior right away, but later I was convinced that she had a thing for Mr. Charm and he had a thing for her. In fact, I was overwhelmed with the thought that they had once been intimately involved, but I quickly tried to banish the thought. She was the companion of his best friend.

While on the boat, the tensions I sensed within this surrogate family carried over, and those tensions also involved Mr. Charm. I felt lost. I did not know what was going on. There was an ominous silence, and then out of nowhere tensions seemed to explode. Mr. Charm’s surrogate mother became ill. Before we could even get out onto the river to travel, she wanted to go back to her tent. Mr. Charm pouted like a five-year-old and loudly exclaimed that she was ruining the fun. Mr. Charm’s best friend gave him a look that typified shock and disappointment. Nevertheless, the boat was turned around, and Mr. Charm ‘s surrogate parents got off the boat.

I could tell that the Mr. Charm’s surrogate mother was very sick. It seemed to be more than anything to do with motion sickness from a boat ride that had not even begun, but I asked no questions. Mr. Charm’s best friend turned the boat back around to go back out onto the river. In those moments, I wished that I had gotten off the boat with Mr. Charm’s surrogate parents too. I did not want to be there. In fact, I wanted to be anywhere but there. I was stuck in mid-river, and it was only about to get worse from there. Although I was with three other people, I felt very alone. Mr. Charm had again turned icy cold towards me, and I did not know the reason.

I attempted to enjoy the outing, and when we started to fish, I took to focusing for a catch. There was very little talking. The air was so thick with tension, a knife might not have even worked to cut it. I was aware that there was something going on with Mr. Charm and me, but there was also something else. Mr. Charm was angry with his best friend. His best friend was also silent and had taken the task of maintaining the boat ride. Instead of dealing with the issues among themselves head-on, everyone was silent. However, Mr. Charm and his best friend’s companion had something brewing. Mr. Charm played a game of triangulation by including his best friend’s companion in the mix. She was all too willing to play along too.

Stay tuned for the more to this story.