A Source Of Support
After running into a flying monkey from the past, I was more aware of my “aloneness”. I realized that I am in need of a new source of support.
I typically am always alone. I am an introvert. I thrive on being alone, but even I long for a support system even if I do not care to have that system too close.
After running into a flying monkey from the past, I realized that I have no support system. I am clearly alone. Since unplugging from all sources of drama and toxicity that have been in my life, I also unplugged from people I once considered supportive friends.
Yet, how truly supportive can these “friends” have been if they were all associated in some way with narcissists who hated me? Once the communication with narcissistic types stopped, so did the communication with the flying monkeys. I was out of sight and out of mind to them.
Lately, I have come to need a new source of support. It is fortunate that I have a support system on social media, and I do enjoy listening to podcasts regarding narcissistic abuse recovery. However, face-to-face/one-on-one support from another person is sorely lacking. As much as I thrive on being energized in my alone time, I also crave connections with like-minded individuals, but finding like-minded people has been hard.
Plus, I am taking a break. I need a break. For years, I have found myself encased by narcissists and their associates. I have been inside the cyclic vortex of narcissistic abuse for years. I am exhausted, and having a break from people, in general, has been refreshing for me. I am attempting to rebuild my energy – rebuild myself.
For the most part, I pray for myself. I pray and hope that my vulnerabilities do not get the best of me. Most of all, I pray and hope that no other narcissist is preying for a chance to come into my life. I need a break. I am tired of narcissistic individuals and all their drama. I am tired of the games and battling to survive narcissistic abuse. I do not want to go through that craziness.
Despite wishing that I had a physical support system, I am only looking for a support system to occur organically and not on a whim. I do not want anyone coming into my life who has been waiting in the shadows for an opportunity to pounce upon me. So … for now or for however long it takes, I am going to take this time away from people to heal, to learn, to grow.
My Voice Unchained 