Narcissists Are Always Scheming
From the time they wake up until they go to bed, narcissists scheme to get their way. Maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration because maybe they do not scheme all day long, but I would say all day long is close enough.
Before narcissists have even met their target(s) face-to-face, the narcissists have already schemed how to take their target(s) down for destruction. Narcissists live to scheme. They love to create drama. If there is no drama around narcissists, they suffer extreme boredom.
As for me, I love to live my life in solitude. Solitude is my peace, and I want nothing to do with drama. When narcissists in my life would see that I was happy in solitude, they made it their mission to wreck it.
Targeted For The Money
In the wee hours of the morning, I awakened to the sound of rushing waters. A pipe had burst causing extensive water damage to the ceilings and walls. I called my insurance company and began the search for a repairman.
This home repair nightmare happened during the time that I was in a weird but calm stage with a narcissist in my life I dubbed The Professional Gaslighting Narcissist (PGN). During this time, I believe I was in the PGN’s discard phase because she was not talking to me. She would only venture into my zone when she needed to vent about something at work.
I had told no one about my home repair issues except my supervisor because I texted him that I was unable to go to work one particular morning because of the home emergency. It was not necessarily confidential information, but had it been, I suppose the news of my need of a repairmen would not have traveled so fast. By the time I returned to work the following day, the PGN was in my work zone soliciting me for details in regards to a repairman.
I should have gone with that itty-bitty nudge within me. It was a warning. It was a red flag. The PGN mentioned her husband being a handyman for repairs and that he along with one of her relatives had helped her best friend (and number one flying monkey) with the same types of repairs. I had actually seen the outcome of those repairs and was pleased with the results.
The fact that the PGN’s relative was a retired contractor was a plus. Yet, there was something about the PGN’s approach to me regarding the entire situation that stood out to me. That was a red flag that I ignored. In retrospect, I was in the bird’s-eye view of a predator. The PGN was scheming my downfall in those moments as she preyed upon me about a way to help me.
The PGN, a person who I believed at the time to be a good friend [even though I consistently googled the reasons for her behavior] was plotting to take me down for the insurance money I was going to receive all under the guise of friendly help. I did not know this at the time though. I foolishly believed that the PGN was on my side. However, she was not on my side though.
The PGN, along with her husband and relative, shafted me for more money than they deserved for the repair job … and I do mean so much more money than they deserved or earned. They all screwed me over while my eyes were wide open. In the end, I learned a valuable lesson, and I had no doubt that I was dealing with a very wicked person in the PGN. After allegedly suffering from being poisoned by her, I should have known better, but I was unaware of the poisoning then as well as her motives in this situation too.
Throughout the repair process, I opened my home to people who did not truly have my best interest at heart. I believed they did at the time, but looking back, there was always something off that I could not put my finger on. The PGN’s husband and relative often came to my home around the time I left for work each morning. It was a huge construction job, and they worked all day. The repairs took approximately six to eight weeks to complete.
I set boundaries for the job because the PGN’s husband and relative would often attempt to stay over at my home when it was clear that I needed to wind down from a long day of work. At first, I felt as if they were attempting to monopolize and take over my time by setting up residence for themselves in my home. They placed items in my fridge without my permission, left doors unlocked in the back area of my home, and did not clean up after themselves.
I quickly caught onto what I considered odd behavior and put a quick stop to it before it could get out of hand. I set a parameter that the PGN’s husband and relative had to be out of my home by the time I came home from work unless we needed to discuss aspects of the job, and they seemed to gladly oblige by this. They could also not work weekends in my home. I set these boundaries based on the advice of another business I had intended to have do the work prior to accepting the PGN’s husband’s help. I wanted to be respected in my home. I might have been friends with the PGN, but I did not consider her husband or relative to be my friends. It was business.
Many times I would return home to notice certain nuances about the energy within my home. The energy seemed disturbed as if there had been changes other than the repairs. I noticed that some of my items were moved, and spaces within my home felt off. There was also the feeling that certain things within my home were rummaged through such as my clothing drawers and closets. This was later confirmed when the PGN’s child happened to mention how he was playing in one of my closets while on a visit to my home while I was at work.
Another alarming situation occurred when I noticed that the rope to my attic was craftily retied into a noose. The countless times that I have walked passed this dangling rope from the attic never moved me, but this time, I was freaked out. The rope was positioned ever so neatly to swing in front of my bedroom door with the noose hanging loosely and widely open. The circumference of the noose was wide enough that I could fit my head into it to wrap around my neck. I thought this was odd and wondered why either the husband or the relative of the PGN had even tampered with it.
At first, I was honestly alarmed by it. My first instinctive thought was that someone had done detective work in my home and had discovered all of my prescribed psychotropic mediations. The PGN only vaguely knew that I took medication for depression, but I never went into any personal details about my struggles with her because she had once mentioned that people who suffered depression were weak. The positioning of the rope hanging from the attic had never stood out to me before, but the way the noose was tied alarmed me. I was deeply more troubled than I probably needed to be by it.
I knew that my journals could not have been discovered because I kept them digitized and password-protected on my computer. So the hanging rope with an open noose was bothersome for different reasons. I had no choice but to mention this to the PGN’s husband and relative. Since I was dealing business with the PGN’s husband and relative, I never spoke to the PGN about anything related to the repairs.
I kept the business of the repairs separate from my professional work life and personal friendship with the PGN. I considered my affairs private, but I was dumb for lack of a better word. I was simply too dumb to think that the PGN’s husband and relative did not go home and discuss my business or the daily occurrences of repairs with the PGN. This was the PGN’s way into my life in a way that she had never been allowed before.
As much as I attempted to keep private regarding the insurance settlement for the repairs, the PGN knew everything. She had been secretly keeping track of my documents. So I would later realize that her husband had plundered through my personal things. Before long, I realized that she was controlling her husband and relative behind the scenes. They were pansies in her scheme against me.
By the time I realized it, I was too late. With documentation they pieced together that neither explained the details of the work completed, nor listed the actual prices of the materials they purchased, or showcased any receipts, the PGN and her family made off with thousands of dollars above what I would have been charged by actual professionals. A job that was supposed to be well under 10 grand ended up being double the amount. They made off with the entire insurance check down to the last cent with a doctored receipt that I had no way of proving had been doctored to fit the description of their so-called itemized categories.
For the most part, though, the finished work was outstanding and garnered compliments from others to the point that the PGN’s husband gained additional work projects because of it. However, I noticed some things were left undone and respectfully addressed the PGN’s husband about them. When I questioned the PGN’s husband about those things, he would always become defensive and seemingly aggravated by me.
During the end, when it became clear that I had noticed that I had been lied to and taken for a considerably larger amount of money that neither the PGN’s husband or relative could reasonably explain, I knew that I could do nothing without the proper proof. I had been swindled! I had been cheated. I had been lied to. If it was all about a scheme, then the scheme worked, and although I was not utterly destroyed, my trust in the PGN and her family unit had been broken. I never quite looked at them the same again. In my heart, I was done.
Particularly, I counted it as a great loss – a loss that was magnified by the fact that the PGN was a friend [so I thought]. I felt betrayed in the worst way, and I did not completely understand it. It was a betrayal that left me completely confused and baffled. I was even told by an insurance staff member and another construction business that I had definitely been taken advantage of, and sadly, there was no one I could really fault but myself.
The PGN even subtly but pleasurably rubbed in my face about all the great uses for the money. She bragged with great pride about how she and her family were able to take a trip to the wonderful world of Disney, how her relative was able to finance a big purchase, and how she and her husband were able to {one-up me} do the same {seemingly unnecessary} repairs in her own home [just so not to be upstaged by the repair job done in my home].
By the time I deciphered that the PGN and her family were con artists, I was too late. No amount of their phony explanations of what they had done to garner such a large amount of debt for materials could not sway my belief that they had lied to me. I slowly but surely began cutting myself away from the PGN.
There was far too much confirmation about so many things that had happened which pointed to what the PGN and her crew had done. They had literally done the same thing to the PGN’s best friend … taken all of her insurance money for repairs that were not nearly as much as they claimed that they were worth, but the best friend remained silent about it. She also remained a loyal friend to the PGN. I, on the other hand, simply could not remain silent.
I called the husband and relative to the carpet to make them accountable, but they both lied to cover up what each had done against me. I knew they were lying to me, but they both gaslighted me and used guilt-tripping to gain their resolve over me. Unfortunately, I did not have the proof I needed to pin them on their lies.
Because I am the the type of person who cannot let a thing go until I see it through, until I confront the issue, or until an issue is settled within me, I had to pray about it. BIG TIME! I needed spiritual insight so I would not lose my cool with them. In a deeper sense, I felt a betrayal that I just could not comprehend.
I sought spiritual understanding about this situation with much fervency. When I came to clarity about it all, only Romans 12:19 stood out to me. “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.”
At the time, I was not going for this verse. I needed to feel more relief than this. I wanted justice at that moment. I wanted to light a firing squad under their butts. I needed to see them punished for taking such a huge chunk of money away from me that they truly were not entitled to at all. I wanted my own revenge, but I knew in my heart that I needed to focus on the vengeance that was beyond my power and ability to comprehend and delve out. That was justice. That was karma or them reaping unto themselves what they had sown to me.
I knew the PGN had schemed this from the beginning with the hopes that I would be too stupid to figure it all out. Despite my respectfully but empathically confronting them about the issue, I shut myself down and turned myself off from continuing to belabor the point. The PGN, her husband, and relative all invited me out to eat. It was their earnest attempt to see if I was angry with them. Although I never gave them the impression of my emotions about the situation, I knew them for who they truly were and could not turn back from this knowledge.
Instead of taking revenge against them, I sat back and obeyed God’s scripture. I let the situation go. I forgave them and tried to assume that they did not know what they were doing against me as naïve as that sounds. I wanted to give them the benefit of doubt … that they would truly not be so foul in ripping me off. I forgave myself for being so naïve and slow to react. I forgave myself for not hiring actual professionals from the start. I also forgave myself for not listening to the loud red flags that were raised when the PGN first approached me about the situation.
I took the situation as a huge sign to walk away from a wicked narcissist who had never meant me any good. Before I realized it, the so-called friendship we had died down to silence. She put me on a temporary discard which I believed occurred because she feared exposure. I went no contact because the circumstances of my life changed to where I did not have time to entertain her.
Although the PGN and I periodically saw each other and had casual conversation, my heart had closed her out of my life. I had “divorced” myself from her, but I had also been moved out of my work position and had been promoted to a higher position on the job. My new job responsibilities made it almost impossible that I ever ran into her even though we worked at the same place.
My final year on the job left me with very little time to deal with her, and by the year’s end, I found out that both her husband and her relative had lost their jobs. They were out of work for a long time and found it difficult to regain employment. I cannot say that I felt bad for their plight because I actually saw the justice in it all. Recompense did come for me but not in the form of monetary payment. Instead, I had the opportunity to see vengeance come. They all might have been able to enjoy getting the benefits of scamming me out of money , but it did little to serve them in the end.
Narcissists are always scheming. For most, this is how their minds operate. Personally, I would find the constant scheming against others exhausting, but narcissists are also hellbent on taking down their targets. They feel obligated to scheme. Scheming is their satisfaction, but scheming does have its consequences.
Stay tuned for more blog posts to come.
My Voice Unchained 