Inheriting Narcissistic Traits
“Am I the narcissist?” So many times I have asked myself this question as it relates to the narcissists I have been affiliated with in my life. My mother is a narcissist. I go back and forth with my father being a narcissist too. I still debate this. Either way, I know that I have inherited the best and worst of my parents. Sometimes when I look in the mirror and see my reflection I might recoil from the thought of how much I see them in me.
It would not be surprising that I would inherit narcissistic traits or be a narcissist too. However, I know that I am not a narcissist. I self-reflect on my behaviors and how they affect other people all too often. I feel instant guilt when I have done someone wrong and always go out of my way in attempts to make things right. I apologize and seek forgiveness. I always find that many people are surprised that I have thought over any of my wrongs [both intentional and unintentional] against them.
I am a people pleaser. Narcissists aim to please for an agenda. I aim to please because it is a trauma response. I read somewhere that the aim to please is also a trauma response of narcissists too … except at some point there is an awareness by narcissists that pleasing others has the benefit of working out to their advantage. I aim to keep people satisfied with me. I hate disappointing others just as much as I hate being a disappointment.
Reflectively Relating To Me
There are nine narcissistic traits that can help targets and victims of narcissistic abuse identify whether they are dealing with a narcissist. I have often reflected upon these traits as they relate to me and my own behavior. When I am in a situation dealing with a person that has these traits, I will first reflect upon whether I display similar behaviors. Often times, I am aware that I am caught up within a narcissist’s projection of their own qualities upon me, but I cannot deny when these traits have affected me on a personal level.
Stay tuned for posts on these traits. Are they inherited? Either way, they have always affected me for sure.
My Voice Unchained 