Trait Eight – Associates Only With High Profile People or People Of High Status (Special)
Narcissists choose to only associate with high profile people or people of high status. They dismiss anyone who is unlikely to fulfill any part of their agenda unless they choose to use anyone for exploitive purposes. Fortunately, I was taught “to be no respecter of persons” but to treat everyone with respect no different than the next person no matter their status. After all, everyone starts somewhere and can rise and fall at any time.
I learned this valuable lesson on my own … that I should always respect people no matter what their status or lot is in life. I learned to always put myself in someone else’s shoes. Although I have never been rich in terms of money, I have lived for a time with a life of comfort. Yet, I also know and understand what it is like to really struggle. So I know that my position in life can change at any time. I never want to be in a position of regretting how I treated someone just because of their own station in life.
In life, it sometimes depends on who one knows when they want to get where they want to be – particularly when it comes to getting a job. Those people that can be of assistance are not necessarily high profile or high status people, but they often have enough power to assist one on the journey to transition. In most cases, narcissists will place themselves in these circles of influence to get what they want. It is always about “elevation to the next level” for narcissists.
One of my siblings is notorious for using others to get what she wants. It appeared to come to her naturally when we were siblings. I watched her in action, and she always annoyed me with this “clout chasing” behavior. She would place herself in high status circles while being “fake” but complain to me behind closed doors about the life these high status people lived above her.
My sister’s operation was smooth because she hob-knobbed with the highest of them and looked as if she could just blend right into these high status circles. I could never hate her for her hustle, but I could not stand the pretention of it all. I will never forget the lies she told just to be a part of a cheerleading team. Following behind those with high status and popularity made her appear desperate.
My sister lied to cover up the lies so the lies would not explode in her face. She made our family out to be aristocrats. We were hardly rich. In fact, I sometimes felt we were just a step above poverty. In fact, I contributed money from my after school job to help with some of the family bills. With the exception of a cousin who did not blow my sister’s cover, the other cheerleaders believed her when she said our family was “rich”.
I would not say my sister is a narcissist [although I certainly could], but she definitely inherited the need to always associate herself with people of high status. She has nothing to do with me because my name means nothing in high status circles. She only associates with people that can do something for her as she elevated herself to higher levels. I have to laugh about this now because once upon a time she was proud to be my sister when my name meant I was one of the smartest people in my high school [and college]. My oh my how the tables do turn!
Associates of Varying Statuses
One of the favorite things about the job I once did is that it placed me in the lives of so many people of diverse cultures. I learned so much about people and grew to understand a lot about myself. Nothing surpasses the wisdom I have gained from people of varying backgrounds and experiences. One common thread has always rung true and that is that we all have experienced many adversities and desires to overcome them.
I know that we are often the company that we keep. Good and bad people travel in all circles of life no matter their status. I always try to keep this in mind. Do I have preferences for certain groups of people? Most definitely. I can say that I prefer not to be around people who despise my presence, and I prefer not to be around narcissists or their flying monkeys or anyone that narrows my view or hinders my destiny for that matter.
My love and understanding for people and their life stories has given me perspective. To believe myself to be better than someone else because of whatever status I believe they might have or I might have possibly makes me an arrogant person. I do not want to ever appear as arrogant in someone else’s eyes. I do not ever want to be perceived as someone who lacks the ability to understand where others are coming from in regards to life’s journey.
I can hang around almost anybody, but not everybody can hang around me. I am choosing a life to be narcissist free. I must admit that it has turned out to be a lot harder for me because of the losses I have incurred with associated friends. The circle I once had no longer exists.
Even though it has been worth being narcissist free just for the peace of mind I have, it is not always easy. However, I do bask in my ability to breathe freely from the air of narcissistic abuse. One thing for certain is that I do not knock people for the circles they choose to follow or surround themselves with, but one circle I will choose to stay away from are those that focus attention on narcissists.
Up next … the final narcissistic trait (inherited or not).
My Voice Unchained 