When A Therapist Thrives On Client Drama
Although I had no proof of my theory that The Identity Thief conspired to steal my appointment time slot – a time she would have been familiar with because it always conflicted with the times she wanted to meet me for gettogethers, my immediate thought was that The Identity Thief was getting counseling regarding ongoing outside conflict in her life.
I supposed that The Identity Thief took her husband along with her as a shield to keep herself from being exposed for who she is as a narcissist. I was absolutely sure that she was not in therapy to get help for herself. She did not believe that she had problems. I also knew The Identity Thief well enough to know that her sessions would be more about one-upping me and “stealing” the therapist away from me as a way to get back at me to maintain control.
For the record, The Identity Thief’s family life was always presented as the picture of perfection. If there was a problem in her life, then the problem was going to be about someone else bringing drama into her life. I honestly had to wonder, however, if she was going to therapy as a way to address concerns about me since she might have thought I could have been addressing concerns about her. It would not surprise me if I became a topic so that the therapist would then consider concerns about me too – thereby disrupting the flow of my own therapy.
In short, I sensed The Identity Thief wanted to destroy me by causing me to distance myself from receiving the help I truly needed in therapy. Only she would have known that this particular evening that she had scheduled for herself was my normally scheduled appointment time because I had told her. My scheduled times were always the reason I could never meet for dinner outings with her. So I found it interesting that she would somehow manage to “steal my time slot” and inadvertently have me moved to a different time slot even though I was already scheduled for the time slot from the time I began therapy years prior.
That appointment time was a slot that the therapist carved out just for me because it was the last slot of the day that we both agreed upon would worked out for my long day work schedule. It was a time slot which the Identity Thief conveniently had the receptionist change, and the receptionist did not even notify me of the change until the very day of my appointment [at the last minute] almost two hours prior to my scheduled time.
The Identity Thief was, therefore, given preferential treatment over me (already a client) who was already scheduled without regard for how that change would affect me. Maybe I was entitled myself in this regards, but the principle of the thing for me is fairness. I felt that I was totally disregarded in this. I felt as if my feelings, my time, and my session really did not matter that evening because there was already a plan in place, and the therapist was very well aware of this plan.
From there on out after this appointment, and for a few weeks, my normally scheduled session time was taken away from me by The Identity Thief which caused me to need to rearrange my schedule to fit a new time slot. However, I eventually stopped my sessions altogether for a while because of the great betrayal that I felt that had been incurred by this intrusion. I no longer felt that I could trust this therapist no matter how much she assured me of confidentiality and ethical standards not being breached by her. I felt that I had been set up during a very vulnerable moment, and an office where I had found safety was no longer safe for me.
Maybe I felt a bit entitled to the time slot since I had kept this appointment slot for a good five years, but I also believed deep down that The Identity Thief was simply trying to get a reaction from me. She almost successfully got what she wanted because I was livid but trying not to show it during our transactional moment in the waiting room. I played nice so I could get out of that office, go home, and vent my frustrations by journaling as I cried a river of tears. I felt gutted by this experience in a place where I brought my troubles in exchange for suggested solutions.
I do not believe the therapist handled this situation with the most extreme care. I felt ambushed and pushed into a corner. After some time away from therapy, [that I so desperately needed during depressive episodes], I believe the therapist knew that maybe she had not handled me very well in favor of accommodating a new narcissistic client. The therapist called me several times and left messages. She was very apologetic and wanted to talk further about the situation that had transpired, but I chose to ignore her. I suppose I gave her the silent treatment, but I was not silent to punish her, I was silent because I was hurt and did not trust her.
I reasoned within myself that maybe the therapist wanted to diagnosis The Identity Thief as a narcissist for herself even though I knew that this information would not be something she would ever tell me for confidentiality’s sake. It was not my business to know the therapist’s private exchanges with The Identity Thief. I already knew The Identity Thief personally – far better than the therapist. Nevertheless, I stopped going to therapy for at least three to four months after this situation. I spent more time indulging in self-care activities to battle depression and anxiety, and this means that I journaled quite heavily during this time to maintain peace of mind.
I gathered that this entire orchestrated situation by the Identity Thief was her attempt to one up me, unnerve me, and get back at me for some supposed narcissistic injury that I must have given her. I distanced myself from her for a while as well even though she contacted me to briefly talk about her session with the therapist. Although I listened to her, I felt internally distraught to the point that I wondered if my confidential discussions with the therapist were no longer going to be confident despite the therapist’s responsibility to uphold a standard code of ethics. Either way, I felt in that moment that I was done with the therapist and The Identity Thief … at least for a while.
Up next … the perspective of The Identity Thief.
My Voice Unchained 