What Have I Learned So Far On My Journey?
As I reflect on my journey through healing and narcissistic abuse recovery so far, there are lessons I have learned over and over. Most of these lessons I repeated because I had not yet familiarized myself with the narcissistic pattern. Now I know better … so much better. Here are some of the lessons.
- All narcissists follow the same abusive patterns with all of their victims. Even if narcissists are all different in their execution of these abusive patterns, they will all fall into the cycle of narcissistic abuse: idealize, devalue, and discard.
- Even the subtlest color of red in a flag is a warning of danger. Pay attention. I cannot reiterate this enough. If something “feels” off, then it most likely is off. Do not override those warnings.
- There are a lot of posers. These posers do not even have to be narcissists. These posers could be flying monkeys to narcissists or narcissists’ sympathizers. Nevertheless, beware of the poser who comes on the scene showing kindness that seems even a little ingenuine and extending friendship seemingly out of the blue. They are simply reporters posing to you as a friend. They merely want to take whatever you say back to narcissists.
- Narcissists are always watching. They are not omnipresent, but they do use other people and things to monitor you.
- When you go no-contact from narcissists, you must remain no-contact (as much as possible).
- Going no-contact is easier said than done, however. Sometimes no-contact feels impossible and can even present new dangers. If at all possible, limit contact with narcissists until no-contact is possible. Do what works to bring you peace.
- Cutting off narcissists also means cutting off the acquaintances and associates of narcissists too.
- Each person’s situation is different. Do what is best for you.
- Freedom from narcissists requires great effort. It is physical, emotional, and spiritual labor.
- Life with narcissists is an open arena to many lessons on spiritual warfare. Spiritually armor yourself up for battle to survive. I pray, journal, meditate, worship, and commune with God. I seek guidance and understanding on how to protect myself. I suggest learning the narcissists’ tactics and acting accordingly to keep yourself safe. Unfortunately, many targets/victims do not make it out of this battle alive [literally].
There are so many more lessons I have learned along the way, but these are just a few. Although your faith may be different than mine, I cannot stress enough how important it is to know that the undercurrent of narcissism has serious and grave spiritual repercussions, but I can only share this as my experience. Knowledge about narcissistic personality disorder and how it affects narcissists, targets/victims, and others is an important part of armoring yourself up in standing strong.
Stay tuned for more posts.
My Voice Unchained 