Growing Myself

From all of my life experiences, I have had to grow myself. I, alone, must be responsible and accountable for my own actions. I have had to learn that placing blame on others has often stunted and impeded my own growth and locked me into a stagnant position. I cannot move or change when I hold onto expectations for others to be accountable.

If someone wrongs me, I can either bend and falter to their power or grow up, pick myself up, and move one. I cannot stand still. I must continue to grow. Of course, there are moments when I stop to pause. There are moments when I must catch my breath. Pain sucks, and pain has the ability to knock me from my place. Yet, I keep moving. I keep myself resilient. I do have a choice.

Growing myself has come with challenges, but I face each one of them even when it is a slow and often boring process. Sometimes I simply do not know what to do. So I wait. I learn from others. I learn from my mistakes – especially from the mistakes I have repeated continuously. I make the best of the challenges that come my way, and when life gives me lemons, I squeeze them hard and make the tastiest lemonade that I can with all of the ingredients that are in my resources.

I, alone, am responsible for the road that I take. I am accountable for the life that I make for myself. No matter what harm someone else brings to me, I am still responsible for what I do with my life as a result. At some point, all of my upbringing, no matter how toxic my parents were, has to amount to what I choose to do with my life. So, I take the good and the bad, and I choose to learn and grow up. There is no sense in me wallowing in mud over the damages caused by my narcissistic parents. Narcissists are unlikely to change. So I choose to grow myself … and grow myself for the good.