A Detour Into The Spirit Of Narcissism
Interestingly, I sought spiritual help for my problems with narcissists first, but I could not find anyone who had enough so-called spiritual power to deal with narcissists. In fact, there was not any spiritual leader that I found who even knew what a narcissist was because they had never even heard of the term. On that level, spirituality and psychology just did not seem to mix, and most spiritual leaders preached on this fact. It was stated without flinching that the spiritual did not mix with the profane. In most Christian arenas, psychology is seen as a tool of the devil.
I was not one to give up though. I had wondered what was the purpose of God possibly leading people into professions as doctors to help others if psychology could be of no use. Was not one of Jesus’ disciples, Luke, a physician? Why had I, myself, even embarked on a journey to a possible career in mental health if psychology was completely useless? It just did not make sense to me. So I continued my research, and the closest spiritual terminology I found that seemed to match up with narcissistic personality disorder was what some in the Christian community termed as the Jezebel Spirit.
The Closest I Could Get To Narcissism In The Church: The Story of Queen Jezebel
For those who are not familiar, in some Christian circles, the Jezebel Spirit refers to Queen Jezebel of the bible. She was the wife of King Ahab, who himself was considered to be a wicked king. Along side him, Jezebel was considered to be one of the most ruthless and evil queens over Israel. Despite the power that her husband had as king, she was powerful enough in her own abilities to persecute God’s prophets and establish Baal worship throughout the land of Israel. In essence, she was considered wicked because she turned the people of Israel away from worshiping God.
Thus, the Jezebel Spirit has been abdicated to this queen because she embodied one who was entitled and behaved as a bully towards others. She wielded absolute control over others in getting them to do her will. She even made others weak in her presence through intimidation. She especially induced fear among the greatest of prophets like Elijah. Elijah was so afraid of Jezebel that he ran in fear for his life into hiding because of a message he received via one of her messengers. In fact, Elijah was so discouraged by Jezebel’s threatening message of death against him that he prayed to die rather than face her wrath.
Not only did Jezebel induce fear in others, she also punished anyone who would not submit to her husband. No one could criticize her husband and get away without being punished by her. In fact, she went out of her way to make sure that her husband would get anything he wanted by any means necessary. Specifically, one of King Ahab’s loyal subjects, Naboth, had a beautiful vineyard. King Ahab wanted it for himself, but Naboth refused to part with it. Well, we all know that narcissists do not take “no” for an answer. So guess what happens?
King Ahab pouted throughout his palace and refused to eat for days. He whined and had a temper tantrum because he could not have his way. So, Jezebel, tired of Ahab’s whining, told him to grow a pair. In her mind, he was a king, for goodness’ sake. He should have been able to take what he wanted without question. Jezebel did not believe in following the law. In her eyes, she and her husband were the law, and they should be obeyed because of it. So she concocted a scheme that had Naboth falsely accused and then killed so that Ahab could have Naboth’s vineyard.
From this, we can see that people were merely putty in Jezebel’s hands and tools for narcissistic supply and destruction. She had not an ounce of remorse for her wicked deeds against the people. The people’s lives did not matter to her. They only mattered in as much as they provided her and her husband with what they wanted from them, and that is all. She even had the prophets killed who followed God’s orders. Clearly, Jezebel was a narcissist and most likely a sociopath, but I would even say that applied to her husband as well although I would say he was more covert because he allowed Jezebel’s wickedness to continue unchecked and unchallenged without any shred of accountability.
In the end, though, Jezebel met a horrible fate. She was thrown off a balcony, trampled by horses, and then eaten up by a pack of dogs. It took someone who was incredibly courageous and would not cower down or run away from her. It took someone who could care less about being rejected by her or taken in by her seductive charms. It took someone who was not going to play by her rules or get caught up in her games. It took another king to subdue Jezebel’s power and destroy both her and her husband’s reign. This king’s name was Jehu.
Interestingly, Jehu’s name in Hebrew means “God is he”. He had been commissioned by the prophet Elisha to destroy the kingdom of Ahab and Jezebel. So basically, it took someone just as powerful, if not more powerful, than Jezebel to outwit her at her manipulative games. She was worshiped and idolized by so many people as a god. So it took someone who had been sent in a similar form and power to subdue her. Even still, however, Jezebel did not change her behavior for Jehu at all. Instead, she made herself up by “painting her face” as if putting on makeup. What was the purpose of this?
As is usual with narcissists, Jezebel was attempting to save herself. She had already learned that Jehu had killed her son. So instead of dressing herself in the common mourning attire, she dressed up in her royal clothing and made herself pretty. She even prepared a great dinner for Jehu. He was going to be her guest. Perhaps she wanted to win him over or even become his new queen wife. She already considered her husband Ahab to be a weakling.
As is always the case, narcissists will do anything to save themselves. Instead of apologizing for their behavior, narcissists will go out of their way to continue to gaslight, manipulate, and covertly insult their targets and victims to get what they want from them. So Jezebel was definitely not exempt from this behavior.
Basically, the assumption has always been that Jezebel attempted to seduce Jehu with a stately welcome to the palace. Although I know narcissists will use any means necessary to get what they want, I also know that ultimately, they will allow no one to deny them their power. I think Jezebel wanted to make sure that Jehu knew she was in charge. So dressing up in her royal attire may have been her way of assuring that he not forget this.
Jezebel certainly refused to relent. She even lacked remorse or repentance for her previous wicked deeds while on the throne. Essentially, she lacked the ability to stop herself in her own tracks. It was this blind greed for power that eventually cost her and her husband the throne. Jehu, a military king of war, took them down and took over the throne. Jezebel was killed, but unfortunately, that spirit that drove her lived on. It was alive and well and multiplying itself within the church. One of the main reasons getting help was thwarted for me was because I had not realized just how narcissism reigned from the pulpit.
Find out what happens in the next post. Stay tuned.
My Voice Unchained 