Dreams: Some Days I Just Cannot

Some Days I Just Cannot

Some days I just cannot … I cannot do. I cannot think. I cannot move. I cannot imagine. I cannot.

Today is one of those days. I cannot even make myself push through. I have no energy. My energy has been spent.

Tug Of War

I had a long turbulent night. I awakened with a ‘spinning’ headache from a nightmare. I experienced the spinning out of control from a battle with an invisible force.

In the nightmare, I was fighting with a strong force. I could not see the force what I was fighting against, but I knew ‘it’ was a force nonetheless.

The strength of this force felt unmatched, but I was a relentless opponent against it. This force and I were in a turbulent conflict – a tug of war. I knew we were fighting over a person.

In this nightmare of a dream, the invisible force and I were tugging it out with a piece of purple clothing – a shirt or jacket maybe. No other colors existed except for the color of the clothing. I thought this was strange because everything else was dark.

“It” or the invisible force, attempted to snatch the clothing away from me. It actually appeared in the dream out of nowhere as if by some surprise attack. When “it” ambushed me to grab the clothing, I fought with all my strength to hold onto it.

I knew holding onto the clothing depended on my life and the life of the person I was fighting for as well. I was not letting go of it, but the invisible force was not letting go of it either. “It” had a mission, and I could feel this internally, but I had a mission too.

A flash of the person’s face came before me, and I found myself fighting even harder to grip tightly to the article of clothing. Although I never saw the invisible force’s face, I knew that this force meant business against me. “It” was fighting to win at all costs. It was fighting for the kill, but I was fighting at all costs too, and I was not afraid.

With all it’s might, the invisible force slung me around extremely hard while I held on tightly to the clothing. This invisible force’s objective was to compel me to loosen my grip. Because I refused to loosen my grip, the invisible force spun around in a circular motion so hard that I had no choice but to hold on for the spin.

When it was obvious that I would not let go of my grip no matter how fast and hard I was spun around, the invisible force grew agitated with me and gave up. Intuitively, though, I knew the tug of war between “it” and me was not over. There was still going to be a fight for another time, and I knew I needed to be ready.

My only thought process as I awakened from the dream (besides the fact that my head and body were spinning inwardly as if I had just been released from a frightening amusement park ride) was to decipher whether the invisible force was a principality of darkness or light or whether it was an actual person.

Today I Just Cannot

So, today I just cannot. I cannot write a post about anything outside of this. It is as if I have literally exerted all of my energy in a dream that seemed to occur out of nowhere. I literally have no energy to think upon anything else. I do not even know if there is an interpretation. Frankly, I do not even believe I need one. The dream is what it is.

For the most part, my head literally hurts from this tug of war dream, and I actually woke up feeling as if my head had been spinning all night. I actually had been spinning all night. So I simply cannot bring my attention to much of anything else pertaining to my personal past story. This dream has literally zapped all of my energy.

How do dreams do that? It was more or less an internal upheaval, but it took place all in my head. But today, I just cannot … even though it seems like I still did.