Church Bullies
If I had not experienced it, I would not have believed that it could have been possible. But I did experience it. I not only had adulthood as a reference, I had childhood as a reference too.
Just like within schools and workplaces, bullies exist within the church too. In fact, I would say church is a nesting ground for narcissistic bullies.
Since church is a place where many hurting people go seeking resolution to their problems, it makes sense for anyone to be there, but I am astounded by the number of bullies that are actually in church wreaking havoc upon often unsuspecting people.
My Experience
I have had quite a few encounters with church bullies, but I was completely knocked off balance when I experienced these bullies as an adult. As is the typical experience in narcissistically empowered churches, bullies are rampant.
Bullies in the church can either be covert or overt just as there are overt and covert narcissists. All of the bullies that I have encountered had narcissistic traits, and although many of them may have not been full-blown narcissists, they were still bullies.
It baffles me that these people bullied others within an environment where they claimed to be walking in the love of God. Of course, they never saw problems with their bullying behavior. So there was never any accountability, and if they were called out, they would fall back on scriptures regarding not being judged for their sins because God forgives them.
Cults
Most often, these narcissistically empowered churches where bullies abound are nothing more than cults. These cults have their own doctrines, their own ways of communicating, and their own ways of keeping church members under control.
Bullies are often leaders in specific auxiliary groups with specific duties and functions. Although the church itself has rules, bullies who act as leaders over specific groups have their own cults within the major cult of the church.
All subgroups must answer to the bullies in charge. These bullies then answer to the leadership team of deacons and the pastor or pastors who are also bullies. Although it appears that the term “bully” is used somewhat loosely here, these people really are bullies, and they really do cause disruptions in the lives of the members without remorse.
Church bullies love to make rules that they never follow, and they love to antagonize members using scripture to bash and shame them. These bullies pride themselves on bringing humiliation to others even when they are in the wrong. They do not care about how their ugly behavior affects others either. They actually thrive on control and power.
Protecting Yourself From Church Bullies
The best way that I protected myself from church bullies was to keep my distance and put them on ignore. I found the best way to handle them was to handle myself. I simply chose not to engage with them and do my own thing.
Of course, narcissistically empowered churches would not exist if there were not bullies in attendance. The bullies are what gives these churches the drive they need to push targets of bullying over the edge into submission to cultish demands.
As it stands now, I know that remaining in this type of church environment only causes more harm and suffering in the long run. It is best to walk away from these toxic environments and stay away for good. Besides, I learned that where church bullies abound, the Spirit of God is quenched from operating in the midst.
Additionally, these churches usually do not provide its members with peace because bullies give targets no peace, and no good thing can truly come from an atmosphere where bullies are allowed to do as they please. In fact, bullies are not only allowed to do as they please in narcissistically empowered churches, but bullies are encouraged to do as they please in an effort to keep targets in line and under the control of a bully pastor.
The safest and best option is to leave these types of churches. Although you cannot control how others behave, you can always remove yourself from volatile situations. Besides, churches should be a place of peace, and if you find that you have no peace within your church atmosphere, it might be time to understand why a lack of peace in your church environment is an issue.
My Voice Unchained 