Finding My Niche On Social Media: Instagram

Social Media: Instagram

Each medium of social media I’ve tried to stick with feels so different in comparison. My blog here feels very alone and isolated, but it is the best place for me to gather my thoughts. At specific times, I have sat blogging content nonstop, only stopping for small breaks. Then, there’d come the dreaded dead time, for which I couldn’t muster up any thoughts to pen down for the screen. Depression. Fatigue. No motivation. No will to live.

Then, I’d try working with posts on Instagram, and that was my medium for a while, but something about it was missing. Although not as isolating as my blog, I felt disconnected as if parameters of competition had been invisibly set. Someone whom I had decided to follow, because they had great content, followed me and then blasted me for one of my posts and then headed to my DMs as well to say, “You’re not a narc abuse coach, you amateur!”

I was dumbfounded and didn’t understand the need for this person to attack me. It felt like wind had been knocked from my chest – the very wind that I needed to breathe. I pondered over their reaction to me over and over and could only gather that a statement I made based on my experience with different narcissists had to have rubbed this person the wrong way. That was not my intention, but there was no explanation that I could give this person that would serve as an apology.

The person who blasted me not only unfollowed me, but they blocked me as well. To say I was a little jarred by the experience is an understatement. I felt like my skin was just too thin for social media in this way when I’d mastered going through most of my social media life not posting much at all. In fact, I lived a pretty much docile life on social media by standardized comparisons because of constant harassment from others as a result of strained narcissistic family relations.

Although I didn’t mean any harm to the poster who verbally attacked me via their message, as I was just expressing a different experience, I learned some valuable lessons that day. Not everyone believes that there can be different experiences, and not everyone who claims to be a narcissistic abuse recovery coach is actually in the business of coaching people. Some of these so-called coaches have another agenda, and they become offended when someone relates that there are different experiences.

To be so cold and diminishing to a survivor of narcissistic abuse is no way for any coach to behave at all. I had to wonder where the compassion and empathy was to see a different perspective. The fact that I was attacked via DMs and then blocked gave way to my understanding that a possible narcissist was offended and wanted to keep themselves from being exposed by me.

Frankly, it was not my thought to expose this person at all. I already know the drill. Too many times, victims of attacks are not believed at all. So, it was best for me to just keep it moving, and that’s what I did even though this person continued to amass a great following. I can’t explain how bothersome that was to me simply because of my experience with them on a private level. It was my hope that people with spiritually discerning eyes would see the truth about them, but that is beyond my control.

As Far As Experiences Go …

No one’s experience is the “be all” of experiences even though most experiences with narcissists are similar. I didn’t think that this particular social medium lended itself to different experiences at all. After all, social media isn’t necessarily about sharing the truth of one’s experiences but more so about the illusion of knowledge and a good life.

Nevertheless, I wasn’t trying to be a coach, and I didn’t say I was a coach. I spoke on what I knew. I tried to only give facts based on what I knew and experienced regarding narcissists and narcissistic abuse, but that doesn’t really matter on a platform where people are competing to give the most powerful types of information. Although I’m not much on competition, I tried settling into a niche from which to build myself.

Little did the person who messaged me such inconsiderate words know how much schooling I have had in terms of psychology and mental health, but I chose not to respond about it. Instead, I unfollowed the person, and continued posting my information. Yet, I began to get the feeling that I was among narcissists on this platform which led to me increasingly backing down from posting for a while.

In fact, I backed down so much until I found myself not posting much at all. I had been excited about this medium before because it was a dash away from Facebook. Yet, Instagram had more or less the same type of negative energy on it as well, and that became unsettling and disheartening to me, but that’s my experience. I know this doesn’t make it so for anybody else.

Although I didn’t think that I needed to be an expert on how I survived narcissists and narcissistic abuse, I refrained from posting about my experiences of having lived out being a victim and survivor of narcissistic abuse. I stuck to posting facts. I didn’t feel as if my experiences were cared for on this particular medium unless I was actually speaking about it. I don’t talk. Selective mutism keeps me from talking with much success even though I have a whole lot to say.

For the record, most narcissistic abuse recovery coaches aren’t even credentialed, and some of them who call themselves coaches have a certain air about them that can be a turn off – at least for me. Some of them even come off as if they are more knowledgeable than those coaches and therapists with actual degrees and credentials.

Yet, I will say there are some great coaches, therapists, and psychologists that I do follow who speak on so many interesting topics related to narcissistic abuse and recovery. There are also regular survivors who post amazing content. It is from these people whom I continue to choose from whom to learn.

Overall, I’m still finding my niche on Instagram. However, I don’t know that I ever will be completely comfortable, but it is a great medium for sharing content. Instead, though, I will simply stick to presenting the facts.