This is part two.
Recognizing when a narcissist or toxic person is trying to rush you into making a hasty decision is crucial for protecting yourself from potential manipulation or exploitation. Here are more signs to watch out for:
- Isolation: The person tries to isolate you from others who may provide a different perspective or offer cautionary advice about the decision.
- All the narcissists I knew would make sure I was never around their friends and associates, especially without their presence. This made it easier for them to keep me in the dark about what they were doing while triangulating me with another person of their choice at the same time.
- Emotional Manipulation: They use emotional tactics, such as guilt-tripping or playing on your emotions, to push you into making the decision quickly.
- “It all depends on you.” or “Things would be much easier if you would just do this or do that.” A narcissist wants to make it seem as if things can only go according to plan if you give in to what they want. Most of the time, this is the reason they’d rush me to make decisions … so their agenda could be met.
- If I did not go through with a decision, then they’d pull out no stops with their guilt-tripping me into feeling sorry for them or bad in general. I didn’t care though. Oftentimes, I was aware of their games and would refuse to engage at all. This is, of course, after learning more about the personas of who I was dealing with at the time via trial and error.
- Love-Bombing: They may shower you with excessive compliments, affection, or gifts to create a sense of indebtedness, making it harder for you to say no.
- I always knew something was up when a narcissist gave me gifts, food, or extra affection. For one, I’d go from being starved of a narcissist’s affection to being brutally overtaken by their affection. This seesawing craziness would always tip me off to the fact that they were up to something … usually attempting to get me to make a decision about something fast without considering consequences.
- Threats or Ultimatums: They may use threats or ultimatums to pressure you into complying with their wishes, making you feel like you have no choice but to go along with their demands.
- One narcissist I knew wanted me to go on a vacation with her and a few other people to help her even out the expenses for the trip. The invitation had nothing to do with her wanting to spend time with me because I was her friend. In fact, I’d be traveling with only one other person I knew, but the rest of the invitees were people the narcissist only knew. I declined.
- It was no secret to anyone that I was not about being social and going places with anyone for any length of time. When this narcissist saw I would not budge, she tried to force me to change my mind through manipulative ploys and a lot of guilt-tripping. I still refused. She hadn’t realized that when my mind was made up, it’s made up. Pressing an issue with me when I have already proclaimed my stance will only cause me to sink my heels into the sand unrelentingly.
- So, this narcissist literally began a screaming match with me while I stared at her in silence. “How dare you try to ruin my weekend! How dare you make my weekend miserable! It’s all your fault that things are ruined!” Then she gave me an ultimatum to choose between the vacation and being alone. That was about the dumbest thing I’d ever heard. I’m prone to introversion. She knew this fact about me along with others. So it was a wrap for me. I chose to be alone. I didn’t care about not going on a trip with an adult behaving like a spoiled brat. That didn’t sound like much of a trip to me.
- It came as no surprise to me that this narcissist was beyond infuriated with me because I made the decision not to go on a trip that I didn’t want to be a part of in the first place. In retaliation, she stormed off very loudly and slammed a door for extra effect. This all happened in a public forum for others to see! I’d think she would have been embarrassed by her own behavior, but that was not the case. She blamed me. But of course!
Stay tuned for more reasons why narcissists like to rush you to make decisions for their own benefit. See the next post.
My Voice Unchained 