Fear
A narcissist will make a career out of controlling and manipulating others. I’ve actually seen a few narcissists in action regarding this.
A narcissist will stop at nothing to make sure everyone around them is in fear of them. They will literally resort to mechanisms of intimidation against others to keep control. Their objective is to control everything and everyone, and they will use fear to do it (or anything else they can use).
A narcissist often uses a variety of manipulation tactics to gain control over others, and instilling fear is one of those tactics. Here’s how a narcissist might use fear to exert control:
- Emotional Manipulation: A narcissist will exploit others’ fears by using emotional manipulation. They will create situations where the target feels anxious, uncertain, or unsafe. By controlling the environment and triggering these emotions, the narcissist can position themselves as the only source of stability or comfort, thereby gaining control over the individual’s thoughts and actions.
- Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a tactic in which the narcissist tries to make the victim doubt their perception of reality. They deny their own actions, twist events, or make the victim question their memory or sanity. This can create fear and confusion in the victim, making them more reliant on the narcissist for guidance.
- Threats and Intimidation: A narcissist will use explicit threats or implied consequences to induce fear. This could include threats of physical harm, public humiliation, exposure of secrets, or even threats to end a relationship or withdraw emotional support.
- Isolation: A narcissist will often try to isolate their victims from friends, family, and other support networks. By cutting off these connections, they make the victim more dependent on them, thus increasing their control and the victim’s vulnerability to fear.
- Playing on Insecurities: A narcissist is skilled at identifying and exploiting their victims’ insecurities. They may amplify these insecurities by making critical remarks, comparisons, or belittling the victim’s abilities. This can create a constant state of anxiety and fear of inadequacy.
- Love Bombing and Withholding: At the start of a relationship, a narcissist often engages in “love bombing,” where they shower the victim with excessive attention, compliments, and affection. Once the victim becomes emotionally invested, the narcissist will suddenly withdraw these positive behaviors, causing fear of abandonment and driving the victim to seek the narcissist’s approval.
- False Accusations: A narcissist will falsely accuse the victim of wrongdoing or disloyalty. This puts the victim on the defensive and creates fear of repercussions or damage to their reputation.
- Creating Dependency: A narcissist will use fear to create a sense of dependency. By alternating between being supportive and withdrawing support, they keep the victim unsure of their standing in the relationship, making them more compliant and fearful of losing the narcissist’s favor.
- Triangulation: A narcissist will introduce a third party into the relationship dynamic, often a rival or someone the victim perceives as a threat. This creates fear of abandonment and intensifies the victim’s efforts to please the narcissist.
It’s important to note that dealing with a narcissist can be extremely challenging, and breaking free from their control often requires professional help, especially if the situation escalates to abuse. If you or someone you know is facing manipulation, fear, and control from a narcissistic individual, seeking support from therapists, counselors, or support groups is recommended.
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