When dealing with a narcissist, it may feel like the “good” in the relationship is one-sided or non-existent. Here’s what happens to the “good” when involved with a narcissist:
- Idealization Phase:
- In the initial stages of a relationship, the narcissist idealizes you, showering you with attention, love, and compliments. This is the phase where you feel valued and appreciated.
- Manipulation and Control:
- As the relationship progresses, the narcissist begins to assert control and manipulate your emotions, actions, and thoughts to serve their needs and desires.
- Devaluation Phase:
- The narcissist starts devaluing you, criticizing, belittling, or demeaning you. The love and admiration they once showed diminish, replaced by constant negativity and emotional abuse.
- Emotional Rollercoaster:
- The relationship becomes an emotional rollercoaster, with moments of affection, love bombing, and validation interspersed with periods of emotional neglect, gaslighting, and mistreatment.
- Exploitation of Kindness:
- Any kindness, empathy, or goodness you exhibit is often exploited by the narcissist. They may use your good nature to manipulate and control you further.
- Projection of Negativity:
- The narcissist projects their negative traits, behaviors, and feelings onto you, making you believe that you are the cause of the problems in the relationship.
- Lack of Reciprocity:
- The narcissist rarely reciprocates the love, care, and effort you invest in the relationship. It’s often an imbalanced dynamic, with your efforts going unappreciated.
- Loss of Self-Esteem and Identity:
- Over time, the constant devaluation and manipulation can erode your self-esteem and sense of self. You may question your worth and lose sight of your own needs and desires.
Understanding the dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist is crucial for healing and moving forward. It’s important to prioritize your well-being, set boundaries, and seek support to regain your sense of self and rebuild a healthy, fulfilling life.
My Voice Unchained 