Here are three signs of a bad friend that I have consistently identified in my personal friendships with others:
- Your friend is never happy for you. No matter what good news you share with your friend, they can never seem to find a reason to be happy for you. They always downplay your good news, or they will point out what’s not so great about it. Eventually, you stop sharing news with this friend because you come to realize the negative energy that always surrounds them when you do share your good news. Their energy towards you tends to shift. You can hear this shift in their voice and see it in their physical presentation towards you.
- Your friend is always competing against you. There is nothing wrong with healthy competition between friends. Sometimes we need friends giving us a push. However, there is an issue in friendship when everything between the two of you becomes a competition. If you are not competing but your friend is always making everything a competition, that’s a major problem. That friend is a bad friend (or perhaps hasn’t been your friend at all). If you cannot do anything without the friend always one-upping you, cutting you down to size, or secretly keeping score on each other’s successes or downfalls, then that is a sign of a bad friend.
- Your friend never supports you in any way when it would be so easy to do so. A bad friend might pretend to support you, but they don’t truly support you. They will always have something negative to say. They will shroud their “fake” support of you with insincere comments or their own doubts about your abilities or successes. They will triangulate you against others by mentioning the good that someone else does while comparing them against you. They will subtly suggest your needs for improvement, or they will make sure to show support to others while remaining silent with you. They even show support to your enemies or people who’ve hurt you, and they will talk to others about you behind your back.
In essence, a bad friend isn’t a friend at all, and if you remain friends with this type of person, their mistreatment of you will only worsen. It’s okay to walk away. Find people who will support you, cheer you own, and won’t make your life difficult when you need their support.
My Voice Unchained 