Do you have a handler? Do you have someone who manages your energy? Do you have someone who tries to control you spiritually, emotionally or physically?
Handlers From A Dream
A while back I had a nightmare, and it’s been a long occurring nightmare that happens at random times.
I have always subjugated these types of nightmares into the category of posttraumatic stress dreams. These posttraumatic stress dreams are usually always similar in some way.
As these dreams are occurring, I can hear and feel my labored breathing. I am aware that I am asleep, but I am also aware that I am very awake. My body is on the bed, but I am also somewhere suspended within the air as if to be floating around myself as if I am in a dissociated state.
It’s as if I spend the entire duration of these types of dreams so stressed that I don’t think I’m going to escape them to wake up. So, I need a body for floating around in to help me escape when aspects of the dream become too intense for me as the other me lies on the bed too motionless and defenseless to do anything to help myself.
The Dream Content
The dreams either involve me running to hide in different locations from someone who’s chasing me, being carried outside of my body to watch various scenes of occurrences as a narrator talks about what is happening, floating or flying through the air as I watch events happen to me or others via a type of dissociation, or me being captured by a person or people chasing me.
If I am captured within these types of dreams, I suffer violation or the fear of violation, and that’s when I feel myself splintering off within the dream as if to dissociate. That’s when I feel the sensation of myself actually floating above myself as I watch myself asleep in bed.
To rouse myself awake, I will float down upon myself to shake myself awake just before any violation can happen, but sometimes I am too late. If I’m too late, then I just float above myself off into a corner and wait for the violation to be over. Then I feel and hear my labored breathing, and I am somehow back within my body to wake up.
These dreams feel so real because I am actually awake within my sleep. I am dreaming within a dream, but no matter the circumstance, I always have the feeling that I have no control and that a handler is somewhere nearby waiting to take control. In bed, I cannot move, but I can feel my breathing and my body feels frozen stiff. It’s like being within a freeze mode of trauma, and I can’t get out of it no matter how hard I try to do so.
After years of having these dreams, I eventually had a break and realized that they all stemmed from the trauma of sexual assault that happened to me when I was nine. I do not remember the attackers’ faces. I don’t even remember their names. My mind protected me for years to the point that it was years before I made the connection. Since I don’t remember their faces, my dreams always portray them as faceless or monstrous, hideous demons masked within a dark ugliness.
Currently, I don’t know if those attackers are dead or alive, and within the grand scheme of my current life, it doesn’t even matter to me. Nevertheless, they are always representative of handlers who attempt to take control of me. Yet, even in my dreams, I can always differentiate between when there are different “handlers” after me since the feelings within the dreams I have are not always the same.
Handlers Described
I first heard the term “handler” referred to in the world of celebrities. Handlers are the people who act as personal assistants to celebrities. They handle the day-to-day lifestyles of the celebrities and can even act as their bodyguards. I’ve even read about handlers who help keep celebrities in line by taking control of every aspect of their lives. In terms of my dreams and, at times, within my personal waking life, the latter description of a handler always feels like the case.
As I said before, I had a nightmare about two grisly dark shadowy monsters. As I was sleeping within my bed, I could feel the figures burst into my room. I knew it was a dream because I never sleep with any lights on, and there was a hallway light on outside of my bedroom door alerting me to the presence of those monstrous figures. In fact, I could feel a sense of fear well up within me and take over, and I could feel my breathing become heavier within my sleep as my body tensed up for what was to come next.
Within the dream, I was grabbed by one of the monstrous figures while the other stood in front of me. Yet, there was an immediate sense that I was not going to be harmed by either of them. Despite being held within a strong grip by one of the monstrous figures, the other just stood before me with raging anger, but neither of them were able to hurt me. It was within an instance that I knew that neither was allowed to harm me and that I was safe even though I sensed that the one standing before me dripping with a silent rage wanted to hurt me.
While all of this was happening, the “me” that would normally float outside of my body as if to be in an extended state tried to wake me up. That’s when I realized I was inside of my body and hadn’t floated away rom my body so that I could easily wake up. Despite being held within a heavy grip by one of the monstrous figures, I did not feel the fear that I’d normally feel within these dreams.
Instead, I heard myself heavily breathing as my heart rate began to slow down from its fast-paced breathing. I woke up, and I tried to interpret what happened within the nightmare. Despite having this type of dream so many times before, this time was different. I knew these monstrous figures had been sent to me, but I didn’t know the reason.
More Context
While scrolling through TikTok videos, I came across a video by a content creator named @skinandsage discussing the definition of a handler. A commenter by the name of Moussa replied that a “handler is an individual who, maliciously or not, exchanges/manages your energy and energetic dealings, while directing your spirit.” The creator further reiterated that “a handler is someone who is assigned to you – whose task is to know the ins and outs of you and your whereabouts, and to keep you as off-beat and out of alignment and from your path as possible.”
In this sense, a handler is not an assistant. A handler basically handles you, but not necessarily in a good way. When I came across that TikTok video, I felt that the message resonated with the dream I had regarding the two monstrous figures. On a surface level, that traumatic event in my life from childhood did alter the course of my path and kept me off balance for quite some time. There is no telling how long these types of posttraumatic stressful dreams will last, but I can say that the nightmares only seem to increase when things in my present world get out of hand.
Additionally, I don’t always associate those dreams with the trauma I experienced from the past. That’s when I have to look around and access who’s around me that behaves as a handler in my life. The handler could be anyone in my present life who wants to control me. Presently, I sometimes sense the handler is my dad when he calls me and attempts to get me to stop my no-contact with my narcissist mother. Other times, I sense the handler might be a coworker who wants to control me on the job. Even still, there are times when I sense the handler is not even a person but more a circumstance that takes control of my thoughts.
The Symbolism Of Handlers In Dreams
Handling a handler in dreams can be a symbolic representation of managing interpersonal dynamics or navigating challenging situations in your waking life. While dreams are highly personal and can vary in meaning from individual to individual, here are some general tips for interpreting and navigating dreams involving handlers or manipulative figures:
- Reflect on Emotions: Pay attention to the emotions you experience in the dream. Do you feel empowered, threatened, or overwhelmed by the handler’s presence? Your emotional response can provide insights into your subconscious feelings and fears related to interpersonal dynamics in your waking life.
- Identify Patterns: Notice any recurring themes or patterns in your dreams involving handlers. Are there common scenarios or interactions that play out repeatedly? Identifying patterns can help you understand recurring challenges or conflicts in your waking relationships.
- Explore Symbolism: Consider the symbolism of the handler or manipulative figure in your dream. Are there traits or characteristics that stand out to you? Explore what these symbols might represent in your waking life, such as authority figures, controlling behaviors, or feelings of powerlessness.
- Engage in Self-Reflection: Use your dreams as an opportunity for self-reflection and introspection. What aspects of yourself or your relationships might be mirrored in the dream? Are there areas where you feel manipulated or controlled in your waking life, and how can you assert yourself more effectively?
- Empowerment and Resolution: In your dream, experiment with different ways of responding to the handler’s behavior. Practice assertiveness, setting boundaries, or asserting your autonomy in the dream scenario. This can help you cultivate a sense of empowerment and agency in your waking life.
- Seek Guidance: If you consistently experience distressing dreams involving handlers or manipulative figures, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or dream interpreter. A trained professional can help you explore the deeper meanings behind your dreams and develop strategies for addressing underlying issues.
Remember that dreams are a reflection of your subconscious mind and can provide valuable insights into your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. By paying attention to your dreams and exploring their meanings, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships, and work towards greater empowerment and resilience in your waking life.
My Voice Unchained 