This post pertains to the events involving my current job position. For a few weeks I’d been experiencing what I would describe as mobbing – a more intense form of bullying.
I suspect that the mobbing began because of my vocal stance against one particular coworker who was manipulating her way into taking my actual position. That particular coworker is a flying monkey to an immature narcissist on my team.
When this immature narcissist speaks, their flying monkeys bow and defend their call. The flying monkeys do whatever this immature narcissist wants even to their own detriment and even if they are the ones who suffer consequences when they are caught.
Needless to say, the flying monkeys defended the narcissist over my speaking out to the person in question who attempted to force me out of the job assignment that I was hired to do. In fact, all of the flying monkeys to this particular immature narcissist used tactics such as stonewalling, the silent treatment, and gaslighting to essentially make me disappear, but their tactics did not work according to their plans.
Although I felt discomfort when the mobbing began, I recognized my place in this world as a survivor against such narcissistic tactics. I’d been through this so many times before that I knew to survive I needed to employ my own defenses while spiritually shielding myself against their narcissistic onslaughts.
I’ve prayed a lot to maintain my peace in this situation because, oftentimes, I’ve literally had to restrain myself from saying anything to my defense. What I’ve really wanted to do in this situation is to tell each individual involved what I see about them from the core, but the only purpose that would serve is to bring me satisfaction in telling them I can see them for who they are as people.
In the long run, being who I am has been my own best weapon. No one not known for a lot of talking because of selective mutism and literally not having much to say, particularly when talking involves small-talk, has worked in my favor in keeping me sane on this job. Praying has also been my defense because I continue to pray that I’m able to keep a handle on my emotions and not react to the foolishness.
It’s as if I have been shielded by the onslaught of narcissistic plans of evil these coworkers shoot my way. They are constantly huddled around each other as if to plan their next tactic when something they’d tried to do to me previously didn’t seem to affect me. More than feeling threatened by their behaviors, I’ve actually found them to be more annoying and childish.
A House Divided Will Not Stand
A narcissist and their flying monkeys can only keep up with their narcissistic tactics against a target when they are all on the same page. Any chinks within their own armors will soon show all of the cracks within their diabolical system.
This is something I’ve found to be true of narcissists and their flying monkeys from experience. They are never all completely on the same page. Most of the time, they don’t even like each other. They just agree on the fact that they don’t like a particular target a lot more. So they all focus on finding ways to bring their target down.
As for this particular mob that I’m dealing with, the leader of the mob who displays numerous narcissistic traits that give me reason to believe they’re a narcissist, wants to be viewed by the managers as a leading team player and a very hard worker. They also want to be in control of the working platform.
I will say that this immature narcissist works very hard, and I’ve actually found this to be true of another loud talking narcissist on this job too. They are dedicated to working hard, but they do so to lord their abilities over others. They are competitors. They don’t want to ever be viewed as losers. So the job is nothing more than a competition to them, and they have to be glorified as the best.
When narcissists come into contact with someone else that works just as hard as them, then they automatically view that someone else as a competitor. The narcissists will do their best to knock that competitor(s) out of the race by any means necessary. This means they will rally whoever they can find to support them, knowingly or unknowingly in deeds against the competitor(s).
All it takes is for them to use their charismatic powers of love bombing flatteries to seduce whomever, and sometimes it simply takes for other individuals to find something about the target they don’t like either. When a narcissist can find others who have common enemies, the narcissist has struck gold.
However, this narcississtic coworker I speak of paints themselves as a perpetual victim and is extremely insecure and immature. I’ve actually stopped in my own tracks as I’ve heard myself talking to them as if they are a child who has no clear sense of direction. I also find myself wanting to console them for their troubles. It feels as if I must always help them to stop and consider the reason they should take deep breaths because they tend to induce stress.
In fact, these types of narcissists usually cave under pressure and stress so much that they stress everybody else out around them. These are also the types of narcissists who want their targets to feel stressed out along with them. Stress is like high drama for them, and I tend to shy away from anything closely connected with drama or stress. I do my best not to feed into it. I always try to remain level-headed about all situations, particularly those situations I cannot control. I do everything possible to be a person of peace.
For the most part, any interactions of induced stress I encounter with this narcissist or any others within the working environment are usually internal red flags for me. I almost always know that the house they are building around themselves never has a solid foundation and is bound to crumble at some point. These types of narcissists want everyone to feel the pressure they do, and for me, the work is never that serious. My motto is usually, “It’s not my company; so it’s not my problem.”
I’ve noticed that others at work will often buy into this particular narcissist’s weak persona used to manipulate them, but I see through it, and this type of behavior is usually a clear indication to me to look for similar behaviors with the flying monkeys as well. They all work in tandem because they are bullies collectively. However, individually, they are not so tough when they are apart or own their own.
When a house is divided against itself, it cannot stand. It will fall. I’ve been watching this happen with these coworkers in real time. This immature narcissist and their flying monkeys actually live around each other. So they are connected in outside of work and spend a lot of time together. They are “friends”. I’m simply not interested in being “friends” with anyone at work even if I have allies. I’ve learned hard, but valuable, lessons from a previous work experience that I don’t want to repeat.
In fact, it has appeared to me that up until I came along on this job that neither of this mob group have worked as closely together in the past since the immature narcissist doesn’t behave as if they know the quirks of each flying monkey. Overall, the flying monkeys don’t work as hard as the immature narcissist, and this places their work efforts at a disadvantage. Since I’ve been cast away from the team in favor of doing what I call last minute work, the immature narcissist often ends up working alone because the flying monkeys take frequent breaks. So by the time I come around with the last minute work, the immature narcissist is in a rage.
It’s quite humorous actually because this supposed mob that wants me out of the workplace has discovered over time that my help is actually needed to complete the tasks. On the days they slack off and push me out are the same days that the tasks don’t get completed on time. I leave work guilt-free, nevertheless. If my help is not wanted, then I’m not falling over myself to give it.
Often, during the last minute when my help is needed, the manager will send me to help the mob so that the tasks are actually finished on time. Of course, I never get any credit for my part as I watch the mob cheer about completion. Giving me any credit would require this mob to consider my contributions. Nevertheless, I do my part.
As of late, this mob has changed like the direction of the wind. The overt, but silent bullying tactics towards me have all stopped. I believe the mob realized how little I appeared to be showing them I was affected because I have behaved towards their bullying with indifference. I came to my own realization that their type of behaviors are mirrors of their own needs to project their insecurities and bitter feelings onto someone else. If it wouldn’t be me, it would be someone else.
My indifference to their bullying behaviors has been my saving grace. When I behave as if I don’t care or am react with obliviousness to what they are doing, either of two things happen. They either increase their bullying tactics against me or they stop. I guess they realize how unbothered I seem to be and have decided to focus their efforts on other things.
I’ve actually had to wonder if the manager over the department placed the mob altogether to see what they can do. It turns out that the manager may not actually be with the mob like I once perceived or has realized that the workers chosen for the tasks were only all talk about their hard work efforts instead of actual doers of hard work.
In fact, the manager has openly vented to me about some of the mob members’ lack of productivity, and I have actually chuckled within myself while I’ve quietly listened to the rant. No matter who the occupants are of the “house”, if they are divided within their efforts, their house will not stand. It will surely crumble, and this has been the case.
More to come regarding the current situation of my experiences within the workplace. Stay tuned, and thank you for reading.
My Voice Unchained 