Part 3
I Came To A Final Decision
Fortunately, I had a lot of time to think while working. Although the team leads present on this particular day wanted me to help the mobsters finish their tasks, almost the entire corporation was experiencing a downtime. There was literally no work except for in the area where the mobsters were completing tasks. So most of the other coworkers on the job were being sent around the building to assist others.
Instead of forcing me to help an already established team, the team leads told me to take some time to rest and do leisure work. Their reasoning was that I’m always working so hard, and I deserved a break. I agreed, and unbeknown to them, I took that leisure time to draft up a resignation letter on my cell phone as I walked around completing leisure tasks here and there.
Since I didn’t want to be rash about resigning my position, I thought things over some more during my lunch break. My mind had been made up though. I was done. I wasn’t going to do this job anymore. I wasn’t going to put up with the inconsistencies, the subtle bullying from narcissistic coworkers, or the maligning behavior from some of the toxic managers and coaches. There’s no amount of money that I need that badly to make me stay in a situation that is not ever going to really improve. I’ve had more than enough time to see improvement, and things were no better.
After lunch was about over, I went to the hiring manager (a woman who reminds me of my narcissist mother because she behaves in similar ways) and verbally gave her my two week notice. To say the hiring manager was stunned was an understatement. She literally took a gulp of air as a look of disapproval and disappointment set in on her face. It was the type of look that showed a mixture of shock, horror, rage, sadness, and displeasure at the same time. For a narcissist or narcissistic type, the threat of someone taking supply away from them is mortifying. I’m sure this hiring manager will recover though. She spent the day hiring new people.
Although I owe no explanations for my reasons to leave, this hiring manager asked me my reasons for leaving anyway. I think it was more out of her own bewilderment by my announcement more than anything else, unless she wanted to be sure she hadn’t been a reason I was leaving. I simply said I was going back to school (which has been more of a contemplation). Then I smiled and left it pretty much at that. I told her that I wasn’t sure how this company did anything since no one told me but that I was a professional. I’d never just walk off the job without saying anything.
The hiring manager seemed as if she expected more of a reason for my decision to leave that I simply didn’t give, and when her initial shock wore off, she turned away from me and stated in a stern voice that she wanted my resignation in writing. Knowing that I had a day off the following day, my first assumption was that she thought I might forget or change my mind about resigning. Most people don’t bother coming in on their day off, and I for sure never would. Despite her mention of this, I responded that I knew. I don’t know why, but I sensed instantly that she hoped that I’d actually change my mind and stay since a verbal resignation means nothing.
Although in some work places a verbal resignation can stand, in many work places it is more professional to have a resignation in writing. This corporation hires and fires employees at-will. Some employees have quit on the spot or simply not shown up for work anymore without notice. I don’t wish to sever any relationship that way, even though sometimes I know there’s no way around this. This work environment was entirely too toxic. Yet, I still see it as my common courtesy not to walk away at-will and do the proper thing and give notice.
Nevertheless, the hiring manager wouldn’t have to wait for me to give her a written letter on my day off because I had one ready on hand. She was surely stunned that I had a written notice ready and inside of a sealed envelope, which I quickly produced from my uniform jacket to give to her. I had spent time during my lunch break writing it to make my ending to that job a professional one. My decision was final and matter of fact. There was no way I was not leaving exactly two weeks from the date of my decision. I was done. It was time to severe this toxic work relationship. In fact, it had been long overdue.
To the hiring manager’s silence, I requested that my notice stay confidential for that time being, and she vowed to keep the secret just between the two of us. Knowing about her track record of gossiping to others about employees, however, I was hard pressed to believe she could keep the secret. No sooner than I’d left her office though, I was certain it would be a matter of time before her gossip about my resignation would circle back to me. I just hoped that I could last the two weeks.
All I needed to do was wait for the leader of the mobsters to come to me with questions, a strange look shrouded by the silent treatment from others – including team leads, coaches, and managers, or hushed conversations if I walked up around any members of the mobster group. News of people leaving traveled fast in that workplace, but I didn’t care. I simply vowed to myself to document the occurrence if the hiring manager did say a word. That documentation would join the host of other workplace grievances I’ve endured since being hired in this toxic workplace. It would only be one more issue that would signify what I already knew besides the place being so very toxic.
My Voice Unchained 