When you go no-contact with a narcissist, their reactions can vary, but they often follow certain patterns based on their need for control, attention, and validation. Here’s what a narcissist might do:
1. Attempts to Reestablish Contact:
- Hoovering: The narcissist might try to “hoover” you back into the relationship by reaching out with seemingly kind gestures, apologies, or promises to change. They might use gifts, messages, or calls to draw you back in.
- Guilt Trips: They may try to make you feel guilty for cutting them off, using emotional manipulation to convince you that you’re being unfair or that they are suffering without you.
2. Smear Campaigns:
- Badmouthing: If the narcissist realizes that you are serious about no-contact, they might start a smear campaign against you. They could spread rumors, lies, or half-truths to mutual friends, family, or colleagues to tarnish your reputation.
- Playing the Victim: They may present themselves as the victim in the situation, claiming you’ve wronged them, to gain sympathy and support from others.
3. Stalking or Monitoring:
- Social Media Surveillance: Some narcissists might obsessively check your social media accounts, even creating fake profiles to keep tabs on you.
- Physical Stalking: In extreme cases, a narcissist might show up at your home, work, or places they know you frequent, trying to intimidate you or force an interaction.
4. Moving On Quickly:
- New Supply: Narcissists often need constant validation, so they might quickly move on to a new partner or “supply.” This serves to both satisfy their need for attention and to make you jealous or regret your decision.
- Showcasing Happiness: They might go out of their way to flaunt their new relationship or their supposed happiness in life, often on social media, to make you feel like you’ve lost out or to provoke a reaction from you.
5. Ignoring You (Silent Treatment):
- Revenge Through Silence: In some cases, a narcissist might respond by giving you the silent treatment as a form of punishment, hoping that you will feel rejected and try to reach out to them.
- Disappearing Act: They may pretend to move on completely and act as if you never mattered, using this as a way to maintain their sense of superiority and control.
6. Legal or Financial Manipulation:
- Custody Battles or Legal Threats: If you share children, finances, or other legal ties, the narcissist might use these as tools to maintain control, threatening legal action or dragging out divorce proceedings to keep you engaged.
- Financial Manipulation: They might withhold or demand money, use shared financial obligations to keep you tied to them, or attempt to sabotage your financial stability.
7. Emotional Manipulation:
- Triggering Past Trauma: They might bring up past traumas or secrets you’ve shared to try to weaken your resolve and make you feel vulnerable.
- Appeals to Emotion: The narcissist might use any lingering emotional ties, such as shared memories, to try to break through your no-contact boundary.
In response to these tactics, it’s important to stay firm in your boundaries, seek support from trusted friends or professionals, and prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Narcissists often struggle with the loss of control that comes with no-contact, and their reactions can be intense, so being prepared for these behaviors is key to maintaining your distance.
My Voice Unchained 