While out on a shopping errand, I ran into the person who became my replacement in a position I resigned from a few years ago. It was a surreal moment. Besides a meeting over zoom with other colleagues, we had never met in person.
Even though the person didn’t recognize me, I felt compelled to speak to her. I hesitated a moment and almost walked away, but her presence was so refreshingly overwhelming. Plus, she was a reminder of a distant career past.
Interestingly, when I asked the woman if she held a position at my former workplace, she instantly said my name and excitedly reached out to hug me. Despite being so taken aback by her gesture to hug, I opened my arms towards her in return.
As soon as we embraced, I knew, as a replacement, she was the perfect person for my previous position, and I was reminded of how I even thought so back then when I had decided to resign. We had a very brief conversation about her office location and the way things so easily shift from year to year within my former workplace, and just like that, I knew the conversation was over.
I didn’t know the woman on a personal level, and she didn’t know me, and just like me, I gathered that she wasn’t big on small chit-chat. So I gave her my well wishes for a great year, and she did the same. Then we both parted ways.
I remember wondering in that moment if there was some way that I needed to feel, but I felt absolutely nothing. I couldn’t even force myself to have emotions either. I felt disconnected as if that life career was something of the past that I would have no more.
Despite what I didn’t feel, I was glad to know that the person filling a position I once held was the perfect person to fill it. She had an indistinguishable light about her, and I was so happy that I ran into her.
Out With The Old
Encountering the person who replaced me in my former job, especially under such positive circumstances, was indeed a significant experience. The warm interaction and the unexpected hug from the woman who took my place felt symbolic. It felt like a kind of closure or affirmation that I had made the right decision in stepping away from that role.
In fact, I felt nothing but peace within the woman’s presence. I was so at ease that any strong emotions, such as regret or longing, were simply nonexistent. I reasoned that the nonexistent feelings could only mean that I have already processed the end of that chapter of my life. Basically, I’ve moved on not only physically, but I’ve also moved on emotionally too.
Having been within that workplace for so long and having experienced so many types of narcissistic abuses, I didn’t think it was possible to leave that place unscathed without some type of fracture to my heart, soul, and spirit. Yet, there I was standing before my replacement feeling nothing but peace.
In a strange way, I thought I needed to feel at least jealous that someone else was filling a position I once held and might have been doing a better job at it. Yet, instead of feeling jealousy or envy that I’d been replaced, I felt nothing but warmth towards my replacement. Based on her glowing and peaceful countenance, I could see how she is well-suited for the job.
In fact, running into my replacement was all the validation I needed to remind me that leaving that position when I did was not only the best decision for me, but it was also a chance for the replacement to step in and succeed. I have no doubt that she is the best person to fulfill the position even in ways that I could not when I was there.
In Reflection
When I think about the interaction I had with the woman who replaced my former position, I think about how comfortable I felt in her presence and how positive our interaction was with each other. Reflectively, I noticed that I was no longer defining myself by my past role. I can adamantly say I am living a different life now, and my previous career was a part of a job I once fulfilled, but now, it is no longer a part of my life.
Currently, I’m ready to fully embrace whatever comes next in my life, and nothing about my previous career can hold me back. I can truly reflect on what I want moving forward, and even though I gained a lot of experience from my previous position, I am now free to open myself up to new possibilities without being chained to my previous career past.
Whatever the case, that moment in time with the person who became my replacement in a former job was a chance for me to feel reassurance that I’ve made the right decisions regarding my life even if those decisions haven’t always felt “right”. As a matter of fact, this experience seems to mark a significant point in my journey – one where I can acknowledge my past, feel content with my decisions, and look forward to what comes next.
This entire encounter suggests that I’m in a good place mentally and emotionally, ready to continue moving forward without the weight of what I left behind.
In a nutshell, I AM HEALING!!!!
My Voice Unchained 