When someone doesn’t truly like you but still wants to keep you around, their behavior can often be confusing and contradictory. This situation might arise when someone sees a benefit in keeping you in their life, but doesn’t value you personally or emotionally. Here are some signs that a person may not really like you, even if they claim to want you around:
1. Inconsistent Communication
- They may take a long time to respond to your messages or calls, often leaving you hanging for hours or even days. When they do respond, the conversation is often unrelated to your original message, leaving you feeling ignored or dismissed.
- When they need something from you, however, their responses may be quick and direct. This inconsistency indicates that their engagement is more about convenience than genuine interest in your well-being.
2. Lack of Emotional Investment
- They don’t seem to care about your thoughts, feelings, or experiences. When you share something meaningful, they may respond with disinterest, change the subject, or offer surface-level reactions that lack empathy or engagement.
- While they may be present physically or via text, they aren’t emotionally available. They don’t make the effort to get to know you on a deeper level, and you may feel like your emotional needs are being neglected.
3. Minimal Effort in Maintaining the Relationship
- They rarely initiate contact or plans. When they do, it’s often because they need something from you or because there’s a specific benefit to them. You might feel like you’re always the one reaching out or trying to maintain the friendship.
- When they do make plans, it’s usually on their terms, and they often cancel or reschedule last-minute if something more appealing comes up.
4. They Don’t Acknowledge Your Achievements or Struggles
- When something good happens in your life, they don’t seem excited or supportive. They may downplay your achievements or fail to offer genuine congratulations. Similarly, when you’re going through a tough time, they may avoid offering help, sympathy, or comfort.
- This lack of acknowledgment shows that they aren’t truly invested in your personal growth or happiness.
5. Surface-Level Interaction
- Conversations are shallow, focused on trivial topics, or centered on their needs and interests. They avoid deep, meaningful discussions and seem uninterested in your thoughts or feelings unless it directly benefits them.
- You might feel that they only engage with you when it’s convenient or when they need someone to listen to their problems, but they don’t reciprocate when you need support.
6. Using You for Personal Gain
- They may keep you around because they see you as useful. This could be because you offer practical help (e.g., rides, advice, or resources) or because you elevate their social status. They value what you can provide, not who you are as a person.
- When you stop providing these benefits, you may notice that they lose interest in maintaining the relationship or start distancing themselves.
7. They Rarely Defend You
- If others criticize or speak poorly of you, they don’t stand up for you. Instead of defending you or setting the record straight, they might remain silent, indifferent, or even agree with the negative remarks.
- Their reluctance to defend you in social situations shows that they aren’t loyal and don’t value your friendship enough to risk conflict or discomfort for your sake.
8. They Avoid Spending Time with You Unless It’s Beneficial to Them
- They often come up with excuses to avoid spending time with you unless there’s something in it for them. If they do agree to meet up, it’s often because they need a favor or want something from you, rather than because they genuinely enjoy your company.
- You may notice that they’re more engaged and enthusiastic when other friends or people they like more are involved, but when it’s just the two of you, their interest wanes.
9. Subtle (or Not-So-Subtle) Put-Downs
- They may make passive-aggressive comments, jokes at your expense, or backhanded compliments that undermine your confidence. They might subtly criticize or devalue you in ways that make you question yourself, all while framing it as “just joking” or “friendly advice.”
- These behaviors indicate a lack of respect or affection for you, even if they keep you around for other reasons.
10. They Exclude You from Important Moments
- You may notice that they exclude you from meaningful events or important moments in their life. They may not invite you to gatherings with mutual friends or avoid involving you in personal celebrations or milestones.
- Their exclusion of you shows that they don’t see you as a true part of their inner circle, even though they may keep you around for more superficial reasons.
11. They Keep You on the Sidelines
- You might feel like you’re always in the background of their life. They don’t prioritize your friendship and are quick to push you aside when something or someone more interesting comes along.
- You may feel like you’re always waiting for their attention or affection but rarely receive it in a meaningful way.
12. They Guilt-Trip You for Wanting More
- If you express concerns about the relationship or ask for more emotional availability, they may try to make you feel guilty. They could accuse you of being too needy, dramatic, or overreacting, turning the situation around so that you question whether your needs are valid.
- This manipulation shows that they don’t want to address your concerns or invest in the relationship; instead, they’d rather keep things convenient for themselves.
13. They Don’t Make You Feel Valued
- Ultimately, you don’t feel valued in the relationship. Whether through their words, actions, or lack of effort, they make you feel like you are more of an option than a priority. You might constantly wonder if you’re even important to them.
- The imbalance between how much you invest in the relationship and how little they give in return can leave you feeling drained and questioning the friendship or relationship’s purpose.
In relationships where someone doesn’t truly like you but wants to keep you around, the dynamic can feel unbalanced and unfulfilling. It often revolves around their needs and convenience, while your emotional needs are overlooked. These signs can be draining and hurtful over time, and recognizing them can help you make decisions about whether to distance yourself or address the situation directly.
My Voice Unchained 