Reactive abuse occurs when someone who has been provoked, manipulated, or pushed to their limit reacts in a way that appears aggressive or volatile. The abuser may then use this reaction to portray themselves as the victim and the actual victim as the aggressor. It often happens in emotionally charged situations where one person intentionally pushes another’s buttons.
Example:
A manipulative partner insults and criticizes their partner repeatedly. When the partner finally yells back in frustration, the abuser says, “See, you’re the one who’s abusive.”
How to Avoid Reacting:
- Recognize Provocation: Be aware of patterns in the other person’s behavior.
- Pause Before Reacting: Take deep breaths or step away from the situation.
- Stay Calm and Neutral: Use responses like, “I need a moment” or “Let’s talk later.”
- Practice Self-Regulation: Engage in mindfulness, journaling, or therapy to process emotions constructively.
- Set Boundaries: Limit interactions with people who provoke you.
My Voice Unchained 