I have come to the heart of the threshing floor. The threshing floor is a place where grain is separated from straw that has no use. The purpose of threshing is to expose and collect the most valuable part of a crop. In the case of a narcissist, there is absolutely nothing of value that I can collect. So instead, I symbolically place myself on the threshing floor, and I choose to walk away with the very best of me … all the qualities that a narcissist seeks to take away from me. I take those qualities back, and I choose to walk away alone.
The threshing floor is symbolic in my life as it is representative of me separating myself away from narcissistic individuals, but I have to do that myself. I have to walk away. I choose my own pace, of course, and it’s most often a pace that others do not understand. It sometimes bothers me when others say I should just go no contact as if I do not already know this. It’s a lot easier said than done. For me, it takes time, and I have to know that I am walking away with a finality because no matter what a narcissist chooses to do, my choice is to never go back.
I would rather walk alone. I have to walk alone. I no longer want to walk within the company of narcissistic associates. Yet, being far from these types of individuals is an impossibility on some turfs. For instance, I can’t get away from them within the workplace or other public environments. Even though I don’t have to have infinite contact with them, it often feels that way when working so closely with them. However, I have the assurance that I will leave the job and go home, and home is where I have my peace.
Strategies to Deal Better
In essence, the feeling of being on the “threshing floor” when dealing with narcissistic individuals often reflects the emotional toll of navigating their manipulative and draining behaviors. This metaphor implies being stripped of emotional and mental resilience, which is common when dealing with people who consistently provoke, gaslight, or devalue others.
Strategies to deal better:
- Set Clear Boundaries: Firmly limit how much emotional and physical access narcissistic individuals have to you. Enforce these boundaries without guilt.
- Manage Expectations: Accept that narcissistic individuals are unlikely to change, which can help lower your frustration.
- Practice Emotional Detachment: Use techniques like the “grey rock method” to minimize their ability to provoke you.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Protect your energy by focusing on activities and relationships that replenish you.
- Seek Support: Therapy or support groups can help you process emotions and gain coping strategies.
- Focus on Your Goals: Redirect attention from their behavior to your own growth and peace.
It’s not easy being on the threshing floor. In fact, I can attest to the fact that being on the threshing floor is quite painful. Yet, I’ve found it more worth it to work through my issues to becoming less of a people pleaser to narcissistic individuals and more of a person who stands firm in simply being a healthier person.
My Voice Unchained 