When Sickness Yields Drama

I needed days off. I was tired, but the days off did not yield what I wanted them to yield for me. It wasn’t the rest that I needed or wanted but was more the rest that attempted to evade me at all costs.

Fortunately, I had planned a vacation, and more time would come with that unplanned time of sickness. Yet, none of the time off wouldn’t be without some drama, and that was all just very strange to me.

I don’t like drama, but for there to be drama around my days off was highly annoying to the point that I filed a complaint. Some coworkers who thrive on toxicity can be downright diabolical when they feel they don’t have information that they desire to keep drama going within the workplace. However, I wasn’t having that at my expense … not at my illness.

When sickness yields, what does it bring?

For the most part, I didn’t think sickness could yield anything but time off from work and possible inconvenience to coworkers who must pick up the slack of the one absent. My sickness wasn’t an intentional means of getting at my coworkers in any way, but it was certainly my body’s way of telling me I needed to slow down, take stock in what’s important, and realize my own value and worth.

However, one would think that after not appearing at work the second day in a row that I’d intentionally stirred a pot against people. It didn’t matter that I was actually sick. No, it didn’t matter that I was struggling with the flu and honestly could have cared less about my shift, particularly knowing that I could and would be replaced in a heartbeat. Yet, the thought of those who are toxic is that everyone is seemingly out to get them, and I think this train of thought is so weird.

By day three of not going in to work, I had unknowingly ignited a firestorm and set things ablaze within my department. My name was mud, and there could be no rectifying the situation until I returned, and I had absolutely no idea that I was “in trouble” with the powers that weren’t and never could be. Yet, this was the case, and Damsel and the mobsters were angry with me for it even though they pretended to be so concerned upon my return.

I didn’t know that I had to check out with certain people in order not to show up for work. Within this particular toxic work environment, it matters that someone has my information, even though I am a private person by nature and simply see no reason to share personal details about myself. If I’m home sick, my first thought is never to call a coworker. My thought is simply to call in my absence and take the day off.

Once I decided I was well enough to return to work, I was confused by all the fanfare. There were tons of people who’d been out sick. It was “sick” season. However, I was the only one who wasn’t sharing my absence with anyone. I’d managed to be out sick for days without notifying anyone of its relevance or making anyone aware of just how sick I was during my time off. Even when I returned, I didn’t make a big deal of it because I didn’t see it as anyone’s business.

Yet, the rumor mill was swarming, and one would believe I was the toxic one because I hadn’t bothered to make anyone, particularly any mobster member, my keeper in sickness. Damsel in Distress and her mobsters had all made my absence such a big deal to the point that I was confused as to why I was receiving such grand treatment upon my return. Surely, people had been sick before, but, apparently, never had anyone kept their business their own personal business as I’d done before. I found this wild.

Why all the drama over sickness?

If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I needed to check in upon my arrival just to make sure it was okay with everyone that I was back. It was strange, and I was none the wiser to the weirdness by others until much later in my shift. It wasn’t until a know-it-all coworker who seemed to always know the true reason why people were not at work began spewing like a faucet about my absence, and although it should not have bothered me, for some reason it did.

It was as if this know-it-all coworker literally poured a can of irritants upon me. The moment those irritants were upon me, I realized that I had been the focus of unwanted and unwarranted gossip regarding my absence. For me, there was truly no big secret about my absence other than I was really sick. When one has the flu, one can even feel deathly sick that even returning to work is not a foolproof safeguard against not feeling any better.

I didn’t think being out of work for three days was a big deal, but the days that I wasn’t present without so much of an excuse provided a windmill of gossip that I hadn’t anticipated upon. Hearing someone else tell me the reason I was out sick angered me because I had to wonder how my illness was anyone’s business besides my own. Why were my absences even being discussed outside of human resources? Why were my absences a matter of anyone’s public business? If I was sick, I was sick, but the rumors said otherwise.

I had followed proper protocol for reporting my absences, but apparently, most people on this particular job fill others in about their personal ailments. I had not done so. In fact, I’ve never done so. Frankly, I’m an adult and don’t owe anyone an explanation as to how sick I am or how much time I need off. I had the time, so I took it. I didn’t need permission. It just was, and I did as I pleased, but apparently, I was supposed to run it by a couple of people.

What kind of workplace even requires this? The know-it-all coworker was so loud about my absence, that I felt set into a rage for no reason. Yet, I had a legitimate right to my feelings. I felt invaded upon, and these acts of nosiness and intrusiveness combined to be a metaphorical straw that broke the camel’s back. It was as if I was made to feel as if I’d done something very wrong, and everyone knew what I did wrong except me.

Furthermore, I was to be further humiliated when I went to a coach about the rumors I heard about myself regarding an illness I hadn’t even discussed. This particular coach went on and on about how it’s a good idea to inform someone so that others know, and when I inquired about what work policy required this, there was an arrogant silence as if no explanation was needed for my kind.

I could only gather that within this work environment that perhaps coaches and managers were only accustomed to the very unprofessional approaching them about such matters, if at all. When I inquired again about what policy referenced that I needed to keep someone informed of my sickness other than the normal way of reporting an absence, the coach did not respond. I think the coach could tell within my tone that their behavior towards me had been noted and recorded, and that keeping silent about it was better than being implicated of speaking wrongly.

By the end of the day, however, I had filed a formal complaint. Within a workplace environment, I wasn’t subject to revealing personal details about my absences unless I revealed that to someone within human resources, and even then, it’s still a personal and private matter. Yet, within this workplace, some coworkers, team leads, and coaches felt really entitled to knowing business that wasn’t theirs, and that absolutely frustrated me, and I wasn’t going to allow it. Perhaps I was making a big deal over nothing, but none of them had been lax on creating a volatile situation upon my return.

In fact, when addressing a coach and team leader about the complexities of my situation and how I didn’t need to give them personal details of my absences, the team lead agreed with me. This team lead knew immediately that Damsel In Distress was the culprit of the drama unfolding behind the scenes even though nothing was ever mentioned about her. In fact, the team lead explained that it always bothered them that certain employees were always busy doing deep dives on the personal lives of other coworkers – staying abreast on minding the personal business of others as if lives depended upon it.

Although this admission struck me as odd, I wasn’t amused or in the mood for excuses. I simply wanted to be able to freely come to work without being harassed about my personal business. Being absent from work because I was sick or whatever was a personal right, and I had enough sick days to not be present at any given time. I didn’t need to explain my reasons for being out to anyone, including Damsel and the mobsters. The team lead and coach could tell I was serious about the situation and promised to handle it, but I didn’t believe them and wasn’t looking for them to handle anything I wouldn’t handle myself.

When Sickness Yields Very Nosy Coworkers

It’s crazy though. My sickness yielded unnecessary drama, and all the while I worked around Damsel after I returned, it was obvious she was attempting to extract details regarding my absence. I thought it was strange because even some of the other mobsters attempted to address it, but I shut it all down by simply giving dry, one-worded answers.

Damsel: I was amazed at the number of people who came to me about you not being at work for the past few days. Everyone was so worried.

Me: Why? Mostly everyone knew I wasn’t feeling well the day before I called out.

Damsel: Everyone was just so concerned. They were really worried about you, and I didn’t know what to tell them.

Me: I appreciate the concern, but what’s to tell? I was sick. I wasn’t here. That’s it. I’m not the only one who’s been sick lately either.

Damsel: Well, you didn’t call anybody.

Me: As long as I followed the proper protocols for reporting an absence, I don’t see why I’d need to call anybody. Besides, I was too sick for all that anyway.

Damsel: That way people would know what’s wrong.

Me: Reporting my absence is all I needed to do.

Damsel: I just think it’s good for others to know what’s wrong.

Me: I was sick.

By now, I could feel Damsel’s frustration but didn’t care. As much as she tried to extract personal details, I dodged giving any personal information. She wasn’t entitled to it. Neither was anyone else. I realized that she, as always, needed and wanted something and somebody to talk about, and I wasn’t about to give her that satisfaction. So I went on to add …

Me: I don’t know why it’s so important for me to report anything other than I’m sick when that’s actually the case. Everyone’s acting like it’s something more … like I committed some sin. I had the flu. That’s pretty much it. I don’t need to tell anyone other than the proper channels about my absence. I don’t need to give a play by play of my time off. I’ve been sick so many times before without any of this unnecessary drama. If you felt like you were supposed to be my keeper, that’s not what I expect of you. I’m not your responsibility. I can take care of myself. I appreciate your concern though.

Damsel looked confused, angry, and saddened all at once. I think she realized she was not going to get anywhere with me regarding this matter. I wasn’t going to give her information other than that I was sick. It was that simple. All the rest of the dramatics was on her and everyone else, and I couldn’t understand any reason other than being nosy for needing more than that. It was strange and dramatic all at the same time.

I came to later realize that Damsel had made such a big fuss regarding my absence that it explained why so many people behaved as if they were so concerned about me. They behaved as if I’d been hospitalized from a coma or something. It was the oddest experience. Although my absence had already been cleared by HR, Damsel had also made me out to be someone who hadn’t even called in during my absence to let anyone know anything all because she nor the mobsters knew anything other than what HR knew.

So, in my absence, Damsel and the mobsters made me seem like I had actually abandoned my job when that was not at all the case. I was literally sick and suffering from the flu! I called out three consecutive days because I was just too sick to go into work. Why would I need to tell anyone at work why I wasn’t coming in when I could report it through a phone application? Their reasoning for wanting to know any more than that was just plain nosiness. I didn’t owe them any explanation at all no matter how entitled they believed they were to one.

It was from that point on that I decided to plan strategic absences so that I could be away from the toxicity, until I feel released to leave altogether. This is the one thing I wished I’d done more of in my previous career … taken the sick days and other time off as they are given. There’s no point in wasting them. People are going to talk about my absence no matter what anyway.