During my last five days in a toxic workplace, I had an opportunity to visit the new job site at which I was hired to work. I was asked to come in to complete some pre-orientation tasks.
When I arrived, there were people already in the waiting room working at computer stations. There was heavy conversation. So, I immediately went to the front desk. There I was greeted by a very friendly receptionist.
Regarding first impressions, the receptionist was super nice. I told her my reason for being there, and she had me formally sign in and told me to take a seat in the waiting room.
After signing in, I didn’t immediately take a seat but instead looked at all the flyers on a bulletin that caught my eyes. I’d discern from the flyers that this workplace was adamant about not discriminating against its employees or visitors based on any differences, whether that be gender, disability, race, etc.
Upon reading these, I was greeted by a future colleague who immediately shared that I wasn’t supposed to sign in as a new employee. I tried to determine her tone because I was a little taken aback that after a formal greeting that she seemed to be chastising me for something I was told by the receptionist to do. Yet, instead of making a big deal about it, I told her that I figured that maybe I shouldn’t have based on the questions I was asked while signing in.
The future colleague proceeded to talk to me – basically to gain information about me. She asked me where my home office would be, since the there were two placements. I told her I’d be at that particular location. She seemed surprised and immediately mentioned that there was another home base where first-time hires are usually sent.
When the future colleague mentioned that the other home base was 40 minutes to an hour away, I responded in my blunt autistic way (as if to be thinking out loud), “Wow, that’s quite a long drive and far from where I live.” Then she said, “Well, that’s what we do. That’s what we do. That’s what we do.”
Based on the future colleague’s response, I immediately felt bad about my own response and wished that the entire conversation had never come up. I didn’t want to give her a bad impression, even by simply stating a truth relative to my personal experience. Yet, I sensed right away that a possible negative impression had already been made.
After this bit conversation about the drive, I attempted to change the topic and asked about the dress code for work since I noted that the dress was rather casual. When she mentioned that Fridays were a dress down day and they could wear jeans, she smiled and then proceeded to tell me that the rest of the days were business professional in dress.
When a call came in that she immediately needed to take, she excused herself and told me I could sit down and wait. I wasn’t really sure, but something about the manner in which she was spoke to me was a little off-putting, but I didn’t take it personally. After all, I’d be a new hire, and none of the future colleagues knew where they were getting in me just as I didn’t know what I was getting in them.
When the person I was there to see finally arrived, I felt a bit more at ease. This future colleague worked in human resources (HR) and assisted me with important paperwork, told me about what to expect on orientation day, and allowed me to ask her relevant questions pertaining to the job. Since I discerned that this HR person was introverted in nature, I asked if this were indeed the case. I had discerned correctly.
The HR person was extremely nice and easy to talk to – nothing at all like the HR manager from the toxic workplace. At this new place, I talked about introversion on the job, and I was made to feel assured that I was in the best environment possible for my personality type since most of the people within the company were introverted in nature. The instant relief I felt was palpable.
Interestingly, this was the vibe I got from this entire new workspace. Outside of the people talking in the waiting room, the vibe of the office space was quiet, calm, and peaceful. In fact, this future colleague reiterated that fact and even said if I happened to travel to the other home office, I would probably experience the same type of atmosphere there too.
After my meeting was over, I caught the eye of another future colleague who greeted me nicely, and I waved goodbye. On my way out the door, the receptionist was excited to know that I’d be a new hire. She was friendly too. The only person I was concerned about was the future colleague who’s vibe with me felt awkward in the waiting room, but other than that, my experience was mostly positive.
Regarding the future colleague who gave me conflicting information and repeated, “that’s what we do,” I reasoned that she may have simply been trying to communicate how things were done at that location. It was just that her tone and delivery could have indicated something more. I wasn’t really sure.
However, I realize that sometimes when people interact with a newcomer, there can be subtle power plays—where someone tries to establish their authority or control how one perceives the workplace. With this future colleague, her behavior could have been a mix of habit, curiosity, or even testing my reaction.
It’s possible that this future colleague is naturally authoritative or rigid, was feeling me out, or even territorial. She could have been trying to gauge if I’d accept things at face value or push back. She might not have even realized how she came across to me just as she might have saw me as rather blunt in my response about the distance in travel to another work location. In addition, she could have felt the need to subtly put me in my place because I had entered her domain.
The fact that I didn’t feel an immediate toxic vibe is a good sign. Since the energy of the overall environment felt calm, this future colleague I encountered might just be one of those people who seem abrasive at first but aren’t necessarily harmful. It’s smart for me to stay observant without jumping to conclusions though. Over time, I’ll see if her behavior is a pattern or just a one-time awkward interaction.
Although that interaction will stay in the back of my mind, if I were to compare it to my first day on the job that I resigned from, I’d say there’s a vast difference. I had red flags during orientation for reasons I didn’t understand and was immediately met with so many red flags that made my head spin on the very first day. I didn’t feel the same way with this new workspace.
So, for that moment, I decided to keep a neutral approach0 and not let the future colleague’s tone shake me. After all, I’m an awkward person myself, who often comes across as blunt and matter of fact. Sometimes people don’t know how to take me either and often decide right away that they don’t like me.
So, for the most part, I was aware of these new surroundings but tried to not be reactive to those new surroundings. Although I was taken aback about the conflicting information the future colleague gave me regarding my stationed home office location for work, considering that the supervisor who interviewed me told me that particular location was my home office, I made a mental note to make sure to ask relevant questions during orientation. Perhaps, the future colleague wasn’t made aware of this information.
Needless to say, I decided to keep trusting my instincts and not let one person overshadow the good energy I felt from others.
My Voice Unchained 