Narc Absorption

Narcissists (narcs) live and survive from the absorption of good and vital life qualities gained from others. This allows them to freely move and operate unchecked by others. They have many tactics they use to aid in this absorption.

The victims and targets of narcs are usually unaware of these narcissistic tactics. That life force or narcissistic supply that narcissists love so much makes up the good qualities of the person that the narc would love to drain of the very character traits that make up the person.

Basically, narcs “feed” off of the good qualities of others to sustain their own sense of self-worth, control, and power. It’s often called narcissistic supply—meaning that narcissists emotionally, mentally, and even energetically drain their targets in order to maintain their fragile egos.

Here’s a breakdown of what this means:

1. Absorption of Good Qualities – Narcissists often gravitate toward kind, empathetic, intelligent, or successful individuals because these qualities help them look better or feel better about themselves. They might mirror your personality, talents, or strengths, either to steal credit or to wear them like a mask to appear more likable or powerful.
2. Operating Unchecked – When narcissists absorb these good qualities, they can blend into society without raising suspicions. Many appear charming, intelligent, or even kind at first. They use this facade to manipulate others while hiding their true nature.
3. Victims Are Unaware – Narcissists are skilled at using psychological manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse to control their targets. Many people don’t realize they’re being drained until they feel exhausted, emotionally depleted, or like they’ve lost a sense of themselves.
4. Draining the Target’s Character – Over time, the narcissist works to erase or weaken the very qualities they once admired in their target. If you’re kind, they might push you to become bitter. If you’re confident, they’ll try to make you doubt yourself. The goal is to strip you of the traits that make you strong, so you’re easier to control.

When narcs absorb from you and me, they’re attempting to take the very best of who we are while devaluing and discarding us at the same time. Don’t let narcs turn you into a swamp they want to drain. Set boundaries to end their absorption.