I’ve always been a music fan. I love all types of music from all genres, but nothing seemed more glorious to me than the music of the 80s and 90s. I guess that would make me a part of Gen X, and I’m not ashamed to say it.
There were so many musical artists and acts during that time – far too many to name, but the biggest trio at the time was argumentatively Prince, Michael Jackson, and Madonna, even though I’d say there were quite a few acts that could top even them. Nevertheless, I loved them all. Yet, I felt more drawn to the musicianship of Prince than any other.
For a time, I’d look to these singers and musicians as idols. I’d plaster posters of them across my walls if I could, but my dad wouldn’t allow it. If it seemed to him that I was paying homage to these celebrities, he’d find any semblance of a poster and destroy it. He didn’t want me idolizing any of them.
In fact, I wasn’t allowed to actually use my allowance money to buy any music either. My dad called the music I listened to the devil’s music. This I thought was ironic considering the only reason I came to love music was by listening to all of his albums he had hidden inside of a huge stereo in our family living room.
Interestingly, I acquired my tastes in music from my paternal and maternal family, but I expanded upon my likes because I loved all genres of music. If a particular sound reached me in a way that moved my emotions, then it was music that I would come to love and attempt to find in duplication through other styles of music.
My maternal grandmother loved listening to country and classical music, and as slow as these tunes felt to me, I’d always find a message in the songs. I easily became a fan of Dolly Parton, Crystal Gayle, and Loretta Lynn, but I also remember some not-so-famous names too. In fact, I could find a message in almost anything if I felt the music captured an essence I desired in my own life.
Most times, I was captivated by the different instruments I heard within a song to the point I’d listen to a song a million times over just to hear one instrument in isolation. My most favorite instruments were the drums, saxophone, guitar, and cello and violin strings. I loved piano too. My dad even bought me an organ synthesizer, and I thought I was well on my way to becoming a musician myself.
It was very like me to sit down, watch, and listen to an old radio show called the Grand Ole Opry or watch a mixtures of shows like the Lawrence Welk Show, Soul Train, and Dick Clark. My most favorite shows always involved cultural dance and dance competitions. I loved a mixture of ballet, salsa and belly dance. I also loved watching women in circle skirts because I loved to watch them do acrobatics and twirl around to the music. In fact, when my mother bought me a circle skirt, I tried replicating the dances I saw for myself.
Along the way, I acquired crushes on many of the artists that I listened to as well, but my crushes were based on the artists’ sound, style, fashion, and coolness instead of any characteristics about them as people to look at. Sounds strange, but I was in love with the fashion that many of these artists displayed as well as their level of “coolness”.
Since I really only knew information about these artists based on their interviews or what I read in magazines or tabloids, I came to understand that I really knew nothing about them personally, and since I’d probably never meet these people in real life, it was safe to say I’d never come to know them in reality either. In fact, after reading a lot of underground fan material I’d come across about some of my favorite artists, I felt I was better off not knowing them in person. In some aspects, they didn’t seem like nice people actually, but I didn’t know them.
What is both fortunate and unfortunate for me is that music became solace for me during the time of the many childhood traumas I experienced – particularly the sexual assault I experienced at nine. It’s fortunate because music gave me an outlet, but it’s unfortunate because some of the singers and musicians I listened to had become idols to me. That’s unfortunate because I would take in their lyrics, and even if I didn’t model my life after them, I looked to them in ways that simply didn’t bode well for me personally.
Despite knowing that some of the lyrics I listened to were way too sexually suggestive for me to comprehend at such a young age during my childhood, I didn’t realize that I was also opening myself up to dark entities within the spiritual realm that continued to feed upon my experiences with trauma. Contrary to anyone’s belief about this, I can only talk about the truth of my experiences, and I was often an open palette for music to transcend into my psyche.
Music has a profound way of opening people to the spiritual realm by influencing emotions, consciousness, and energy. Across cultures and spiritual traditions, music has been used as a tool to connect with the divine, alter states of awareness, and facilitate deep inner experiences. For the most part, music moved me into deep inner experiences with myself, but as a young child, I didn’t understand all this. I just knew that I could reach a level of peace and transcendence that I couldn’t find anywhere else.
In some states of consciousness, I felt like I knew more about some of the musical artists I listened to because many of their songs told the stories of their lives – their own traumas, hurts, and disappointments. I felt I could relate on some level and began to easily identify myself with them as I felt somewhat connected in a way. As much as I liked Michael Jackson, I never felt this with his music, and in some ways I didn’t feel this with Madonna either. In fact, there were very few artists where I felt this unless the artists was a true unknown.
No musician seemed to captivate me more than Prince. Despite the surface-level darkness of many of his songs, I justified being able to listen to him because I felt connected to him as an artist more than any other. I don’t know how to make it make sense other than to say that even at an early age, I was able to connect with a lot of the pain and anger I heard within much of his music. I was a very angry child at one time, and I’d also suffered a tremendous amount of pain. There was just something I heard within his music, even through all the masking of lust and sex, that translated into something of depth and loneliness that I could identity with on a deeper level without understanding the reason.
I came to understand later in life that music operates on frequencies and vibrations, which can shift a person’s mental and emotional state. Certain frequencies (e.g., 432 Hz, 528 Hz) are believed to promote healing, relaxation, and spiritual awakening. Rhythmic drumming, chanting, or harmonic sounds can induce trance-like states, making one more receptive to spiritual experiences. In fact, much later in life, when Prince seemed more aware and “awakened”, he talked about the power of music frequency, and it made so much more sense to me.
I cannot say that I had any spiritual experiences where Prince’s music was concerned, but I justified that he was a spiritual being based on certain songs. It didn’t matter to me that my mind had become an open canvas to a lot of his lust, sex, and fast living through much of what I heard in his lyrics. I reasoned that I didn’t understand as much as I actually did understand. Oddly, I allowed myself to bypass many of the lyrics I heard without realizing that those lyrics were going somewhere deep within my psyche to eventually cause me to question a lot of things.
Music has the ability to bypass the logical mind and connect directly with emotions. This can create a profound sense of oneness, awe, or divine presence. Many people report feeling closer to God, the universe, or their higher self when deeply immersed in music. Sometimes I felt like I was always somewhere else – a more peaceful place – when I listened to some of Prince’s music compared to others. However, there were other times when I would find myself in a place of anger and sadness too or even the lower depths of depression. It always depended upon the song.
This brings to mind that music can deepen meditation by quieting the mind and elevating spiritual focus. Throughout history, music has also been used in religious and spiritual ceremonies to call upon deities, ancestors, or spirit guides. In shamanic traditions, drumming and singing are believed to open portals between worlds, and some people receive spiritual insights, downloads, or revelations through music. Lyrics, melodies, or spontaneous compositions can act as a form of divine guidance too.
In my experience, my own emotions have been moved through the sounds of different musical instruments. I even discussed this within a former post about the power of music. Although I may have bypassed some lyrics, I know that those lyrics had an effect, if at some point I’d hear those lyrics playing over and over within my head when all else was quiet.
To reiterate, I do believe in the power of music. It’s more than just entertainment—it is a powerful spiritual tool. Whether through worship, meditation, or personal reflection, music can elevate consciousness, awaken the soul, and bridge the gap between the physical and spiritual realms. Yet, I dare say one must be very careful too. Music can be an easy way to put oneself on the road to justifying the raising up of idols in one’s life. I can say that I had many, but no one seemed to stand higher than Prince.
I’ll break that down in Part Two. Stay tuned …
My Voice Unchained 