I never imagined that simply trying to protect my paycheck would turn into a full-blown lesson in self-advocacy, accountability, and the frustrating double standards that often exist in the workplace.
A few months ago, I made a clear decision to opt out of retirement contributions. With a tight budget and specific financial goals, I wanted every dollar I earned to be in my control. I was told it was done. That should’ve been the end of the story.
It wasn’t.
What I discovered later was that my paycheck was still being docked – money being funneled into a retirement account that I didn’t authorize. Even worse, that account had incorrect personal information attached to it, including a phone number that doesn’t belong to me. That raised every red flag possible. This wasn’t just an administrative error – this was a breach of my identity and consent.
I did what any responsible employee would do: I reached out for answers. I contacted human resources (HR), I contacted the retirement plan provider, and I followed every breadcrumb in an attempt to get clarity. What I got back was a dismissive, deflective email that felt like it was written for someone who didn’t deserve a real explanation. Not only did they refuse to refund the deduction, they didn’t address the incorrect information on the account. No apology. No ownership. Just subtle implications that it was somehow my fault for not jumping through all their unknown internal hoops.
Let’s pause here.
I work in a role where I am trusted to handle sensitive, personally identifying information for the customers I serve. I’m expected to handle that information with care, integrity, and discretion. And yet, my own information – my phone number, my paycheck, my financial autonomy – was mishandled by the very system I’m working under.
What’s worse is the emotional toll of being gaslit throughout the process. When you’re neurodivergent, when you communicate differently, when you advocate for yourself in ways that aren’t always typical, people think they can twist your concern into incompetence. They want to make you feel like you’re overreacting or just not understanding something simple. But I do understand. I understand that my boundaries were violated, and I understand what it looks like when a company deflects instead of addresses real harm.
I’m still trying to get answers – and now I’ve been advised to speak directly to my supervisor and escalate this issue through the “proper” chain of command. However, in any past issues dealing with payroll, I’d never think to bring in people not affiliated with payroll. Given that I get enough gaslighting and deflection from the supervisor with work tasks, I’m not sure what I’ll gain from someone who doesn’t know how to properly train new hires to the job. The most I’ll get is to be happy nothing worse happened.
Let me be clear, though. I’m not asking for favors from anyone. I’m asking for accountability. This isn’t just about the amount taken out of my paycheck. It’s about trust. It’s about doing what’s right when no one is watching. And it’s about the question: If a company can’t handle their employees’ information with care, how are the employees supposed to trust that they’re handling the public’s any better?
This situation has made me more vigilant – not only in how I handle customer data, but in how I protect my own. It’s a reminder to never shrink just because someone tries to make you feel like your questions are inconvenient.
To anyone else dealing with systems that deflect instead of listen: keep speaking up. Document everything. Demand clarity. Your voice matters – even when they pretend it doesn’t.
My Voice Unchained 