You Are the Expert of Your Story

“There’s no one expert on narcissistic abuse. You are experts on your own story.”

There’s a growing number of content creators, coaches, and self-proclaimed experts who speak with such intensity about narcissistic abuse that it begins to feel like their way is the only way. They speak in absolutes, create rigid formulas for what healing should look like, and sometimes – even unintentionally – replace the very control systems they claim to expose.

But here’s the truth: There is no one expert on narcissistic abuse. Not in full. Not without flaw. Not without bias.

Because the real authority is you. You – who lived it. You – who saw the pattern when no one else did. You – who felt the tension before you had the language. You – who stayed silent, endured, prayed, questioned your own sanity, and finally started to see clearly.

No academic, therapist, YouTuber, or content creator – no matter how popular – can take that from you.

You Know What You Lived

Maybe the abuse you experienced didn’t fit into neat categories others describe. Maybe the narcissist in your life wasn’t a romantic partner – it was a mother. A sibling. A pastor. A coworker. Maybe they were charming in public and cruel in private. Maybe they never yelled – but their silence was cutting.

You don’t need someone to validate what you saw. You don’t need to earn your stripes through someone else’s checklist. You don’t need to be re-traumatized by people who use “truth-telling” as a weapon instead of a healing balm.

You already know what happened. And that knowing is sacred.

Beware of “Expert Culture” in the Trauma Space

The internet is full of helpful resources – but also dangerous hierarchies. Narcissistic abuse recovery has unfortunately become a platform for some to:

• Gatekeep healing
• Compete over who has the deepest wound
• Dismiss others’ voices as “less informed”
• Use their platform to control instead of to liberate

Healing doesn’t require a guru. It requires truth, humility, and space to recognize yourself again.

You’re Not Here to Worship Voices – You’re Here to Reclaim Yours

The most important insights won’t alway come from a viral video or a polished post. They’ll rise up in your own spirit – quietly, steadily – like they did when you started to see things for what they really were.

And maybe your healing will sound different than someone else’s. Maybe it won’t be as loud, or dramatic, or marketable. But it will be yours. And that is the mark of true freedom: when your voice is no longer stifled by fear, or shame, or the illusion that someone else knows your story better than you do.

You don’t need their permission to speak. You don’t need their approval to heal. You are the expert of your story.

And that is enough.