There’s a difference between being difficult and being discerning.
When you operate with clarity in an environment that thrives on confusion, you will almost always become a target. Not because you’re wrong — but because your presence confronts everything they’ve learned to tolerate.
I currently work in a role working with federal funding. I came into this role with years of experience as a teacher, counselor, and adjunct instructor — carrying with me not only the credentials (2.5 master’s degrees because I came to a halt with the last degree from the chronic fatigue of dealing with too many narcissistic personalities), but also the wisdom and spiritual insight that only life and leadership can teach.
From the moment I entered this system, I knew something was off.
When Excellence Meets Mediocrity
I noticed a pattern of recent hires — many of whom lacked training, experience, or even a basic understanding of the position they were brought in to perform. Some were recent college grads; others were brought on through an On-the-Job Training initiative. It didn’t take long to discern the pattern: people were being placed not based on preparation, but on availability. And for those of us who’ve built a professional life rooted in excellence, that’s a tough pill to swallow.
It’s not that I think I’m better.
It’s that I take the work — and the lives it impacts — seriously.
And when people are given consultant-level roles without the tools, training, or discernment required, it doesn’t just impact internal morale. It harms the very people the system claims to serve.
Disorganization Disguised as Delegation
My experience has been a string of poor communication, withheld information, task-dumping, and last-minute course corrections disguised as “support.” Emails go unanswered. Clarifying questions are met with vague screenshots or silence. Protocols change, but no one is informed until after the fact — and by then, you’ve already been set up to fail.
I’ve watched a supervisor micromanage from a distance, correcting with urgency but never training with clarity. I’ve been given new projects to manage without a proper briefing — finding out only after someone else mentioned it in passing. I’ve had clients dumped into my schedule who hadn’t completed required steps — and was expected to just figure it out. I have — but not without exhaustion and emotional cost.
And then there’s the gaslighting:
Case notes mysteriously disappearing.
Schedule changes made without notification.
Emails that contradict each other sent in the same breath.
I’ve been praised and criticized within five minutes — built up, then subtly undermined. I know what I’m dealing with. I’ve seen it before. And when I finally requested a meeting to express my frustrations professionally and clearly, I was met with passive deflection, zero accountability, and microexpressions I won’t forget.
When someone doesn’t like you but has to pretend they do?
You’ll feel it before they ever say a word.
Spiritual Discernment in a System That Fears It
As a neurodivergent woman on the spectrum, I experience the world through a very specific lens. I need clarity, structure, and honest communication — not because I’m inflexible, but because it’s how I function with excellence. My pattern recognition is strong. My spiritual discernment is stronger. I see what’s happening beneath the surface even when no one is willing to name it.
The truth is, I don’t believe my supervisor understands her role.
But I do believe she understands the threat I represent.
When you are called to bring order, those who benefit from chaos will always resist you.
The Decision to Stand Still
Recently, I was invited to serve on a panel for program improvement. On one hand, it’s affirming — perhaps someone sees my value. On the other, I remain cautious. Sometimes inclusion is a trap: a way to neutralize the strong voices by pretending they’re being heard.
So I will go. But I will go with clarity.
I will speak what needs to be said — in truth, with grace, and with solutions.
And when it’s time to walk away from this place — spiritually or physically — I will do so knowing I said what needed to be said.
Until then, I will protect my peace.
Because clarity is not the enemy of progress.
Clarity is the beginning of it.
Final Thought:
To anyone out there navigating a workplace that gaslights you, underestimates you, or sidelines you — you’re not crazy, and you’re not wrong.
You just see too much.
And they don’t know what to do with someone who won’t unsee it.
Stay grounded. Stay wise.
And don’t let the dysfunction in the room make you question your discernment.
See you on the next post …
My Voice Unchained 