How Narcissists and Their Enablers Protect Competition
“Envy doesn’t stop with the narcissist. Their enablers and flying monkeys often protect it in sneaky, devastating ways.”
Narcissistic envy isn’t just about one person trying to outshine you. It’s about the system around them that props it up, excuses it, and even amplifies it. Often, the narcissist’s enablers and flying monkeys step in to shield them from accountability and reinforce the illusion of superiority. And sometimes, that protection stings even more than the narcissist’s behavior itself.
When Competition Masquerades as Ambition
For years, the Identity Thief in my life competed with me in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. But the envy grew heaviest when I went back to school to pursue another master’s degree – this time in mental health counseling.
For me, this wasn’t about recognition. It was about process, accountability, and becoming licensed to practice ethically and responsibly. Counseling requires time, accredited training, and the willingness to submit yourself to the necessary rigor of professional standards.
But the Identity Thief didn’t see it that way. To her, my progress felt like a threat. Suddenly, she was talking about wanting to pursue the same field. Not because she valued the work itself, but because she needed to beat me there. She didn’t want the degree; she wanted the credibility of doing it first.
Enablers in the Shadows
Her need to one-up me was reinforced by her husband, who often stepped in as her voice. I remember him saying: “My wife’s anointed for the task. When God anoints you, He overlooks those degrees.”
It was a spiritualized dismissal – a way of elevating her ambition above the requirements of the profession. I calmly explained: “That may be, but the state requires licensure – not just for my protection, but for clients’ protection too.”
The response? More pushback. The Identity Thief was so determined to fast-track her way into the field that she was willing to sign up for a school with no accreditation at all. To her, the process was irrelevant. What mattered was the appearance of achievement – recognition without the work, credibility without accountability.
Thankfully, the Identity Thief gave up her efforts. One reason might have been because she pushed back at me in other ways – ways that devastated the landscape of my journey.
Why Envy Hurts So Deeply
This experience taught me something important: Envy doesn’t operate in isolation. The narcissist’s enablers and flying monkeys often validate their shortcuts, excuse their recklessness, and protect their egos. Together, they form a shield that makes you – not them – look like the one who’s wrong, too slow, or too rigid for “following the rules.”
But envy has a tell: It’s never about the actual goal. It’s about possession. The Identity Thief didn’t truly want counseling or licensure. What she wanted was to own my path before I could. And the people around her were more than willing to play along, giving her the illusion of victory without the reality of responsibility.
The Takeaway
Envy thrives where accountability is absent. And narcissistic envy, protected by enablers, is especially dangerous because it masquerades as ambition, spirituality, or even love. But beneath it all, it’s still envy.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember this:
- Envy is never about you. It’s about the emptiness in the other person.
- Shortcuts aren’t success. Real credibility can’t be rushed or fabricated.
- Accountability matters. What’s built on truth will last. What’s built on competition will eventually collapse.
So let the narcissist and their enablers play their games. You don’t need to compete with imitation. Keep walking your path. The process itself – the discipline, the integrity, the growth – is what will set you apart.
Because while envy seeks recognition, true purpose seeks transformation.
My Voice Unchained 