“Mimicry is a tool of control. If the narcissist can’t steal your light, they’ll create a counterfeit version of you through someone else.”
One of the most painful things about dealing with a narcissist isn’t just their envy, it’s their need to replicate and replace you. For them, it isn’t enough to admire or even compete with your light. They want to control it. And when they can’t take it directly, they’ll create a copy through someone else.
The “Most Wonderful Narc”
I once knew someone I called the most wonderful narc of all. On the surface, she was charming, magnetic, and admired by many. But behind the scenes, she wielded mimicry and triangulation as weapons.
When she couldn’t outshine me in personality, she found ways to replicate me. She married someone who, eerily, had my personality traits. It was as if she had gone searching for a version of me she could possess, control, and parade around without having to actually deal with me.
But when that didn’t provoke the reaction she wanted – because I congratulated her and genuinely wished her well – she shifted tactics.
Copy and Paste
Soon after, she turned to a coworker and slowly groomed her into becoming my duplicate. Bit by bit, I watched as this coworker began to model her identity after mine. She mimicked my style, mirrored the way I carried myself, and adopted the traits that had once defined my uniqueness.
It wasn’t coincidence. It was copy-and-paste.
Eventually, she wasn’t just a mimic, she was positioned as my replacement. Where I had once been the close friend, she now stepped in, carrying the counterfeit version of me the narcissist had orchestrated.
The Hidden Pain of Counterfeit Connections
What made this dynamic so heavy wasn’t just the loss of friendship. It was the grief of being monitored, mimicked, and mirrored to the point of erasure. Despite my desire to wish happiness and peace for the most wonderful narc of them all, she gave me only grief in return.
That’s the cruel irony of narcissistic mimicry: It’s not about admiration. It’s about control. The narcissist cannot tolerate your independence, your light, or your freedom. So if they can’t steal it directly, they’ll recreate it in someone else. It’s their way of rewriting the story so they can still feel they “own” you, even while trying to erase you.
The Takeaway
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where someone seems determined to replicate your essence through others, know this: The counterfeit is not the original. What’s real cannot be replaced.
Your light is your own. It doesn’t matter how many copies are made, or how loudly a narcissist parades their substitutes. No mimicry, no triangulation, no counterfeit can change the truth of who you are.
And in the end, while they busy themselves trying to manufacture control, you remain the source. You remain the original they can never fully capture.
Closing Reflection
If you’ve ever felt erased by someone else’s mimicry, hold on to this truth: Imitation is not identity.
You are not replaceable. Your story, your light, and your presence are uniquely yours. A narcissist may create a counterfeit version of you through others, but the real thing shines in ways no copy ever can.
Their mimicry may sting, but your authenticity will outlast their performance every time. So stand firm in your identity. Keep walking in your light.
Because no matter how many counterfeits are created, the world only has one you, and that will always be enough.
My Voice Unchained 