I’ve been in my current role for about seven months, and despite minimal training, I’ve managed to perform above expectations by teaching myself the system. What’s surprising and frustrating is that management themselves often don’t understand the system fully. In many ways, I end up showing them things they didn’t know, which creates tension and unease.
Not long ago, management introduced a collaborative meant to track “mistakes” across the team. At first glance, it felt like an attempt to humiliate, and the energy I sensed from the spreadsheet itself was overwhelmingly toxic. The corrections required often involved issues beyond my control, some stemming from system limitations and prior mistakes, yet the expectation is that I fix them regardless. My emails asking for clarification went ignored, leaving me to navigate these challenges on my own.
I’ve learned to approach this professionally: I document everything, respond with facts rather than feelings, and make corrections where I can while clearly noting what’s beyond my control. I don’t let intimidation or manipulation sway me. My case notes are factual and precise, not personal attack. They exist to reflect the truth of what I can and cannot control.
Watching the team struggle under unclear guidance and toxic oversight has shown me the cracks in the system. The auditors and managers focus on controlling and humiliating rather than teaching or supporting, which inevitably leads to burnout, stress, and frustration. I’ve experienced the mental and physical toll myself, from headaches to feeling drained by constant vigilance – not to mention that the location where I work with others who subtly bully me with exclusionary tactics (not employed by my company by the way) is another toxic tale of workplace woes within itself.
Despite this, I remain committed to doing my work well. I refuse to bow to fear or manipulation. My focus is on performing my responsibilities with integrity, documenting facts, and growing in my role. I believe God has placed me here not to compromise my values, but perhaps to expose flaws, maintain truth, and model professionalism under pressure. Ultimately, the accountability for systemic failures rests with leadership, not the team members who navigate the consequence daily.
My Voice Unchained 