It’s annoying to deal with condescension coming from others. I find it to be a person’s way of being petty while taking passive aggressive digs at the same time.
Condescension
Condescension is the attitude of treating someone as if they are less intelligent or less important than oneself. It often involves speaking down to others or acting in a superior manner, which can make the other person feel belittled or disrespected.
A Page From My Life
At varying times, I have dealt with condescending behavior, and I’ve also had to check myself from having a condescending attitude. Many people on the receiving end of this type of behavior often feel disrespected, belittled, and annoyed.
In my current job, I’ve dealt with condescension coming from others a lot. Many times, I’ve taken note that a coworker’s or manager’s condescension had very little to do with me and a lot more to do with them. Nevertheless, being on the receiving end of such a belittling attitude can rub one the wrong way. I will admit, it has more than annoyed me at one time or another, and many times it’s made me quite angry.
I’ve actually had to bite my tongue many times when I’ve experienced this type of behavior coming from someone. There are also times when I’ve also had to check the person on this type of behavior when I felt that they were simply going to continue it. More than likely, the person doing this type of behavior usually has their own personal hang-ups. They are often dealing with insecurities, and in an effort to keep themselves from feeling beneath me (and/or others), they climb the ladder of condescension.
In particular, I think of one coworker who loves to give me pet names like “boo”, “love”, and “honey”. To be fair, though, this coworker doesn’t necessarily single me out for condescension. This coworker actually takes this attitude with a lot of people. So the nicknames are usually for everyone, and I find this most unprofessional in the workplace.
In fact, I actually despise working this coworker because they give off a great deal of insecurity, immaturity, and evil vibes. This coworker would actually be a great candidate for the group I refer to as the “mob” because of their collective, bullying behaviors, but most of the mobsters cannot stand being around this coworker because of this coworker’s horrible attitude.
Like the mob, this coworker also uses narcissistic tactics of abuse against me when I don’t respond or react to their negative behaviors. Instead of addressing me directly, this coworker will attempt to triangulate me with other coworkers, give me the silent treatment, or stonewall me out of conversations when I don’t even partake in them. When this coworker does address me, it’s always with platitudes of “honey”, “boo”, and the like.
As a matter of fact, this coworker has never addressed me by my name at all, and the one time I slipped up and mispronounced their name, they took great delight with a sneer on their face when another coworker corrected me. This is the type of coworker with whom I have chosen not to address for any reason unless it pertains to doing the job. If I don’t have to deal with them, I don’t.
Moreover, this coworker loves to create chaos wherever they go, and despite some coworkers complaining to management about their behaviors, this coworker still persists in doing whatever they want to do. Creating instances of sabotage appears to be a part of their nature. Other coworkers and me are constantly having to clean up this coworker’s messes when they are sent to work in the department I am assigned to work in, and it’s fatiguing to even think about. They thrive on stealing away everyone’s energy.
Furthermore, this coworker has a very entitling and patronizing attitude, and more than realizing they are simply insecure, I also discern they have a wicked spirit. I don’t say this lightly. I say this because I know this type of spirit when I sense it. It thrives to antagonize and cause a reaction from its targets. It thrives on disrespecting and belittling others to the point of annoyance. I literally cannot stand being around this coworker to the point that I have to pray for my own peace of mind.
When I am around this person, I must literally put on what I call God’s spiritual armor in an effort to withstand all of the wicked ploys this coworker brings about to attempt to get a reaction from me. It’s like this coworker wreaks of something ugly within them, and as much as I’d like to empathize with whatever their life’s circumstances, I have no desire to know about them at all. They literally make it such an easy task to do.
This coworker is also highly manipulative. For instance, they will take the simplest task and make it difficult because what they want is for someone else to do their job for them. Yet, if anyone willingly offers them assistance, this coworker will not allow the help. Instead, what they want is to control and tell people what to do while addressing them with their condescending platitudes. They want to control everyone around them while acting like a lost, dumb sheep. They are literally insufferable.
Speaking of which, this coworker also loves talking down to others, but they literally walk around and ask questions as if they know absolutely nothing. They frequently interrupt me in the process of explaining something to someone else as if to imply that I’m not worth listening to or as if I have nothing valuable to say.
When this coworker is around, they constantly correct me or highlight things that I do as if I don’t know what I’m doing. They’ll question my choice of doing things and then go behind me as if they are making corrections when they are actually creating chaotic situations which create more work for others.
In the grand scheme of work, this coworker is a great annoyance to a lot of other coworkers, and despite my attempts to be kind and cordial, I have now chosen to remain silent and not engage with them at all if I don’t have to do so. I do my job, and if I need to talk, I talk to myself. Yet, my choice to disengage from them only makes them agitated enough to try different angles, and try, they do.
The immaturity this coworker exhibits is the level of behavior that I’d expect from a 10-year-old – not an adult. It sometimes seems as if their behaviors are beyond just arrested development. There’s a whole lot more going on, and although I can’t make a diagnosis to whether this person is a narcissist, their behaviors surely are narcissistic in nature.
Yet, there is also a darkness about this coworker that bothers me. There’s a foreboding evil underneath the surface, and it emanates from their eyes. In fact, when I’m in their line of vision, I actually feel like I’m their target, and this alone causes me to keep my distance from them as much as possible.
Even though I must communicate with them about work, it is infrequent enough that when this person is sent to work in the department I am in, I’m almost always caught off guard and highly annoyed on the inside just to see them.
My Voice Unchained 