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I Dared To Cut Off A Narc’s Supply
Perhaps I did not go about cutting off The Identity Thief in the best way. Going no-contact without a word to this narc was not a sure method of breaking free. I am back to square one. I realize now that some bonds formed will have to be completely severed never to be reattached again, and this is one of those bonds.
Of course, this is always the case when dealing with a narcissist. There should never be a time when one considers reattaching to a narcissist. A narcissist will never change. Reattachment will just create an even stronger bond that the narcissist will ensure will be harder to break away from the next time around.
Yet, I did not foresee that The Identity Thief would literally chase me down to capture me. Under the guise of concern, she sought me out for going no-contact because on her end, she had never experienced my extreme silence and lack of response before. That was obviously the giveaway to her subconscious that I was gone even if she was consciously unaware of it.
Now that the Identity Thief believes she is safe, and I have not completely removed myself, she is probably somewhere checking on her other narcissistic supply ensuring that they are not going anywhere either. By her very name, she needs narcissistic supply to sustain her identity since she does not appear to be confident in her own identity.
If she were confident in her own identity, then she would not see the need to steal from someone else. She also would not have seen the need to come after me. Would it not stand to reason that any narcissistic supply would do? Obviously not … unless, of course, she needs to be the one in control of discarding. Yet, even with a discard she is not detaching herself from me for good. She is simply casting me to the side until she feel she needs me.
The After Effects Of Attempting To Cut Off A Narc
Instead of being able to detach from The Identity Thief, she reserved her energy while she drained mine. That’s right! After the few moments of her standing and bawling at my door about how worried she was that something had happened to me in my six-week effort to keep no-contact with her, she was literally draining my energy reserves and gaining supply for herself. By simply standing in my presence, my energy was snatched!
Some type of energy transference took place specifically when I reached out and offered her my condolences in the form of a hug. I literally felt my life force drifting away from me in waves. I hugged her because she became distraught, and that was my first reaction to ease her pain. What was I thinking? I literally gave this vampire my energy! In return, she gave me hers.
I was fine and feeling great and well-rested prior to her arrival to my home, but later, I felt horrible. I felt as if I had been run over by a hug truck several times. Hours later, I awakened in the middle of the night with a severe migraine headache. My head literally pound as my entire face and throat filled with waves of nausea. Those headaches are the absolute worst! I literally went from having a relaxing day off the day before to a day trying to recuperate from the aftereffects of being slammed on top of my head and everywhere else.
My mind and body felt completely drained. This is how I know that energy reserves elsewhere for the narcissist must be slim and bare. The narcissist needed me and needed to be reassured within herself that I had not abandoned her. She could not bare to lose supply. So the dramatic display of her emotions used to draw upon my empathic sympathies towards her were all a part of her manipulation. It seemed like a payback of sorts for daring to silently step away.
Hugging her was the worst thing I could have done because I ended up transferring to her my energetic self while she dumped onto me all of her negative self. I was feeling great otherwise. I know this is what happened because this has happened numerous times before with narcissists and non-narcissists. In fact, I can walk into a crowded area and suddenly feel some type of way knowing that I have picked up on someone else’s negative stuff especially when I am feeling the total opposite otherwise. Nevertheless, I suffered from the encounter with The Identity Thief, and on a spiritual level, she may or may not have even been aware of this fact.
I was drained for the entirety of the next day. I had to take medicine for the headache so that I could function. Even after taking the medicine, my head pounded and pulsated throughout the day. Although I worked, I had to end my duties earlier than I desired so that I could rest. Imagine having a day off to actually rest which is what I did the day before! All within hours of The Identity Thief showing up at my place, I wilted like a flower in need of sunshine and water.
Going no-contact actually went well until it backfired after The Identity Thief realized that I had removed myself from her sphere. I am not sure why it took her six weeks to realize I was happily living my life outside of her geographic plane unless she had discarded me and decided after a discard to do her normal thing of checking in with me. In retrospect, she would have discarded me prior to my no-contact because I had called her out on her behavior.
Needless to say, it took me a few days to recover from the brief but lethal encounter with The Identity Thief all because she did not want to let go of narcissistic supply.
Stay tuned for more to come …
My Voice Unchained 