The Trip Of A Timely Demise
Most trips that Mr. Charm and I took were always day trips. It had never crossed my mind to take an overnight trip with him for any reason. Day trips were difficult enough even though we had fun. Yet, Mr. Charm was relentless in getting me to open up to new ways of thinking and experiencing life. He was an avid outdoorsman and somehow found it surprising that I had no problem with nature. That was proof that he had taken very little time in getting to know me. Unless I specifically told him about the details of my life, he was clueless about my life. He never asked for details. So he was pretty clueless.
Needless to say, Mr. Charm began talking to me about planning a big camping trip. He had been invited by his surrogate brother, whom he also called his bestfriend, to go on an overnight camping trip. He thought I might be interested in going along for the adventure. I was apprehensive at first because I really did not want to be in the middle of nowhere with strangers. It would not just be Mr. Charm and his bestfriend, but it would also be Mr. Charm’s surrogate parents and his best friend’s companion. It strangely sounded like a triple date that I was not interested in. I told him I would give it some thought. In the back of my mind I wondered if he was still attempting to “romance” me.
When the time came to have made a decision, I decided to give it a go. Mr. Charm had convinced me that I was not living or experiencing all that life had to offer by being stuffy and not getting to know others. Even though I had no problem getting to know others, I did have a problem with large groups of people. I had to have enough energy built up to even deal with additional people. Three made a crowd, but six people had me seeing myself on an empty tank. I was feeling great anxiety about this aspect of the trip alone. I never considered all of the other aspects of camping. Yet, after much coercing on his part and the idea that it would be fun, I decided to go.
I purchased all of the things I needed for the trip such as a sleeping bag, a tent, a hammock, and all of the necessities needed for a night out in the woods. We were soon on the highway for a long road trip to our destination. I rode with Mr. Charm as usual, and we talked and laughed along the way. Looking back, I realized that he love bombed me all the way up to the point of the road trip because he had an agenda. I was totally unaware at the time. Instead, I was too blind to see what he was up to and found myself basking in the goodness of his behavior towards me. I had no reason to think that he would allow his mask to slip to reveal his true self especially around his surrogate family. I was certainly in for a big surprise. I had little knowledge that the trip was the beginning of the demise of our so-called friendship.
The Apple Of Mr. Charm’s Eye
I had not taken note of it before, but while planning for the trip and on the way to the destination, Mr. Charm talked a lot about his best friend (also dubbed as his surrogate brother). I could tell by listening to Mr. Charm’s animated descriptions that he truly admired his best friend. His best friend had a lot going for him such as owning a company, owning a huge home, and being able to travel at will. I thought that Mr. Charm had a lot going for him too, but he measured success by comparison. He wanted to be like his best friend. Yet, as much as he admired his best friend, he seemed to equally hate him as well. As far as the trip was concerned, however, Mr. Charm said nothing but good things about him. He so placed his best friend on a pedestal that I immediately liked the best friend before I had even met him.
Mr. Charm told me that he and his best friend met years ago. They had become friends during their youth. He was able to hang out with his best friend when things were not going so well for him with his own family. His best friend’s parents took Mr. Charm in and made him feel welcomed and a part of their family. Mr. Charm and his best friend had been close ever since. Whatever the surrogate parents gave their son, they did in somewhat of a like manner with Mr. Charm. He was always included as a part of the family, but I somehow sensed that this might have been more loosely than Mr. Charm readily admitted to me.
I discerned that there were some issues between Mr. Charm and his surrogate family based on many negative things Mr. Charm would say when he was not too happy with his surrogate family. He openly discussed his envy of them but in an underhanded way. It was always what they did to him. Somehow, he was always their victim in the stories he told me. Unfortunately, I only knew his side of the story. I had to pay close attention to any interactions that I saw when I was around all of them together, and I was not around them all that much. What I did see, however, was Mr. Charm behaving in a way that seemed to always recreate a past he had with his surrogate family during “better times”. I always wondered what had changed. I assumed that the dynamics between Mr. Charm and his best friend had changed once they moved from their hometown. Yet, I still was not so sure.
Anyway … once Mr. Charm and I had arrived to the camp grounds, I was formally introduced to Mr. Charm’s best friend. Mr. Charm’s best friend and I seemed to hit it off immediately. He had a very calming and gentle personality. He was an accomplished businessman and because of hard work had acquired wealth. He was apparently living the life that I would later learn that Mr. Charmed dreamed of and envied. Strangely, these were not even things that the best friend told me. As if the best friend was not even visibly present, Mr. Charm retold me his best friend’s success story as an introduction.
Through it all, however, Mr. Charm’s best friend seemed very humble. He simply wanted to enjoy life. His companion, on the other hand, was a different story. As soon as Mr. Charm introduced me to her, I felt that something was immediately off. Her entire vibe was off with me, and she looked at me with an air of disdain. I still tried to be friendly, but I could feel her throw up a wall against me. I did not even know this woman and had never met her until now. Mr. Charm had only briefly mentioned her just to say that she was his best friend’s companion. He also described the kind of work she did, but there was nothing that specifically stood out to me based on what he told me. Yet, this woman would become somewhat of an arch nemesis to me. Later, I realized she was triangulated against me by Mr. Charm.
This trip turned out to be quite an adventure … an adventure that would end badly … badly for me and perhaps badly for Mr. Charm too. I was came face to face with the narcissist who could no longer hide his true self because of his overwhelming hatred and envy of the apple of his eye. I also saw his overwhelming disdain for me. I realized that he was a very insecure man with a lot of issues that were beyond my ability to help. These were issues that were hidden from the outside world and from the world of people who saw the Mr. Charm that was seemingly above reproach. Yet, I was the person who had a chance to see his true persona, and I began to realize that those who were no longer around him by choice had escaped him for a reason. They had seen the real Mr. Charm too.
Stay tuned for more to this story in the next post.
My Voice Unchained 