Men vs Women
From my experience, the way in which men and women narcissists mirrored and copied me was always different. Surprisingly, I found that men basically mirrored me during the love bombing phase in their attempts to get to know me. They mirrored me to reel me into their narcissistic traps. After the love bombing phase, their objective became copying me for material things or degrading me for my character traits that they did not have for themselves.
As narcissists, these men were/are void of their own identity. So they reflected back to me the character traits about myself to make themselves seem like such likable men. These men reflected to me what they believed would influence me to continue to gravitate towards them. Yet, all the while, they hid the truth about themselves.
These men narcissists copied me to be sarcastic and vindictive when they were devaluing me and preparing to discard me. The copied the very character traits about me they originally claimed that they liked about me. Sometimes they copied me as if to outwit me in some type of game that they played against me. I often was not aware of the game competition until they mentioned to me there was one.
I never sensed that men narcissists copied me because they wanted to be me though. Yet, some of these men narcissists made it their mission to learn all about me so that they could keep tabs on me, use my weaknesses against me, and attempt to bring me down. They made sure to insert themselves into my life so they could have a monopoly on me to control me.
These men narcissists hated knowing that others could have access to me even if other people included my friends and family. These men narcissists always wanted to have dominance in my life even though they often acted with aloofness towards me as if they did not care. Their mirroring behaviors only seemed to be effective to win me over, and once they won me over, they used copying behaviors to tear me down.
The presence of these men narcissists in my life was completely suffocating. By the time I realized what was going on, I was already feeling a dislike for them. I would distance myself in the hopes that I could untangle myself from their drama. Yet, I felt it was far worse for me dealing with women narcissists. With women, it was a completely different dynamic for me.
Although I felt that there was just as much a spiritual battle going on when dealing with narcissists no matter their gender, women narcissists were an entirely different realm for me. Women narcissists mirrored and copied me to flatter me just like men. However, this mirroring and copying did not just operate during the love bombing phase but continued on throughout every phase of narcissistic abuse.
The plan of these women narcissists was to continue to mirror and copy my traits so that those traits became a part of who they wanted to present to others for their own personal gains. These women took on my personality traits, copied my mannerisms, and copied my vocabulary. They added themselves into my friendship circles and inserted themselves into my life to the point that when I took notice of what was happening, I felt that I was literally staring at myself in the mirror.
These women narcissists’ actions of copying me were so subtle that I was not aware of their behaviors until either someone else made a comment about what they saw or these women narcissists themselves began revealing their motives to me in cunning ways. I found this copying behavior odd and troublesome. It was beyond me feeling simply flattered by their “compliments” to copy. I often felt freaked out.
For the most part, women narcissists love becoming enmeshed with their targets in such unhealthy ways. Their targets feel that it is almost impossible to get away from them. I found women narcissists to be the worst when it came to suffocating me with their presences. Their goal of copying me was an attempt to devour me whole and completely erase me. There was no way I could be passive about what they were doing. It was as if they were beckoning me to fight for my right to reclaim my own identity.
There is always a battle to keep your identity when dealing with narcissists. Narcissists believe they are entitled to not only copy you, but they believe they are entitled to becoming you. Their objective is truly to copy you and paste you into their being.
Part 4 is next …
My Voice Unchained 