A Troll Almost Always Exposes Themselves

The troll almost always exposes themselves.

In my people pleasing manner that I often fall back into, I shared banter with a person I did not realize was a troll until it was too late. The red flags were subtle, and I assumed that perhaps the person was just suffering through hurts because of narcissistic abuse. I tried to be patient and be helpful, but I am not a shrink for personal problems, and this was a fact I mentioned to them from the start.

One major lesson I have learned is to never assume anything and trust no one until they have had time to prove themselves. The troll went on to prove that they were in fact a very toxic individual, but I should have gone with my first instinct when I chose to accept responding to their DM in the first place. There was a still small voice restraining me with “No, don’t do it.” But I did not heed the voice.

I should have also halted when I saw other red flags based on the information I saw in the troll’s bio from their platform. There was also the strange photo they used as their profile picture. I was not sure if their profile was really them or an exaggerated picture, but then I had to wonder why this troll made fun of others online and called them names when it was clear that others actually did the same to them.

Despite these red flags, I did not want to judge because I chose an interesting profile picture for myself too, and my bio might be just as questionable to others as well. However, major red flags popped up even more when this troll began bringing me drama they were involved in from other platforms – mainly platforms that I do not follow. Instead, I simply questioned the troll about their own behavior for the sake of them being accountable. I also requested that they not bring me drama about others to my DMs.

I should have seen the issue of this troll’s disrespectful behavior on someone else’s platform or the even bigger red flag that this troll outed the person on their platform for refusing to respond to the troll’s DMs. I also took note of how this troll posted the previous DMs they had with this person onto the person’s public platform as a way to expose the person. When I mentioned to the troll that this was manipulative and abusive behavior or even reactionary if she was hurt by the person’s lack of response, the troll had a plethora of explanations – none of which made them accountable.

I knew my days were numbered with this troll. So I backed away for a bit. The troll then immediately beckoned me back with posts about empathy in attempts to appeal to my empathy for their situation. How dumb I was to continue to engage. I sincerely hoped that this troll was not a troll but a person who suffered from narcissistic abuse and was just reactionary. Why else would this person originally follow my platform? Talk about me being longsuffering for no reason! I did not even personally know them enough to trust their words.

Fortunately, I simultaneously began finding that I was drained from even logging onto Twitter. I started choosing times that I hoped the troll was not messaging me. Yet, unfortunately, I felt myself tapped out of doing what it is that I had become comfortable with doing – which is telling my story through learned experiences and shared nuggets of information on my platform. Somehow I had allowed a troll to stop my purpose. I had to take accountability for my part in being so gullible and not stopping myself sooner when I realized that I was actually seeing red flags.

Finally, when I opened a DM from the troll that was rather long winded with a bunch of different posts from other platforms, I took a deep sigh. I simply did not have the mental or emotional capacity and energy to read through or respond to everything. Plus, I was super busy with my own life outside of Twitter and had only stopped to check in. It was then that I realized that so much of my time had become monopolized by this troll as if I had nothing else better to do, but that is the way the troll wanted it.

So, instead of responding with a detailed message, I responded with a thumbs-up emoji. In my eyes, this indicated that “Ok, I see all of this information“. Of course, it did not mean that I had read it all even though I might have chosen to do so later. Yet, intuitively, I had a feeling that something was about to “pop off” because of my emoji to all that had been presented in my DMs from the troll. It was a lot and would have taken me a while to read. I did not have time for all that.

Needless to say, some things did “pop off” as my single emoji was obviously a grave injury to the troll that was not taken lightly at all. Despite me later going back to respond that I was busy, the troll had responded with the same message as if to read my mind … except the troll was offended that I was “busy” and claimed that I was using “busyness” to gaslight them by not attending to them with a proper response. To the troll, my busyness signaled red flags about my personality because basically I was saying to them that I was too busy to take the time to respond … even though I was actually too busy to take the time to respond.

Then, the troll sent another long-winded post about gaslighting and all the topics one can think of concerning narcissists “trolling” for supply. I was flabbergasted to say the least, but then I shook my head in solace as I realized I had crossed my own boundary by responding to this troll’s initial DM in the first place. It was my own hard lesson to learn, and there was no sense in attempting to prove any points to the troll or explain anything as anything I said in response would only be perceived as my excuses.

Basically, I left it with the troll saying that I am a narcissist when this was obviously the troll’s plan from the start. I did not see any of this coming even though I did see this coming (if that makes sense). All the signs were there from the start because the troll revealed themselves gradually over a short space of time to be a troll to others on their platforms. This troll was amazing at projection. They took no responsibility for their own behavior, but instead projected onto me that I am this horrible person for sending them a thumbs-up emoji when in actuality it was my failure to give them attention that they took as my rejection of them.

This troll only ever talked about themselves. They only ever unleashed their problems. They only ever talked about the same topics over and over even though I provided detours for other topics. Any shares that I gave were for examples for them to understand how to navigate life away from toxicity and drama which they always seemed to be involved in all over social media. It was then that I realized that I was possibly dealing with a narcissist – particularly when the troll exposed how ugly they could be to actual strangers on social media via name calling, etc.

This troll had even been blocked by different people all while making themselves out to be the victim. The troll even admitted to stalking behaviors against others on their platforms using the actual word “stalking“. Yet, all the while, the troll exclaimed that they were victimized by others … including being victimized by me simply because I did not take the time to respond in a timely manner to their DMs. My busyness or having an actual life outside of Twitter was not an acceptable excuse. I was dumbfounded but happy to be discarded by them.

This troll blasted me for everything they could think of and then told me that I was abusive because of instead of responding to their DM with words instead of an emoji, I took the time to tweet information on my platform. If I did not see the color red as an emotion, I certainly felt an immediate rise of hot red anger to my cheeks. But I was angry with myself for allowing a troll to inject their dominance over me via my time on Twitter. I wondered how this had happened and could see that this troll had so finagled themselves into my Twitter life via stalking my tweeting patterns.

For this troll, my tweeting was synonymous to spending equal amounts of time [if not more] responding to them. They wanted to hold me hostage to DMs. So, feeling myself backed into a familiar corner during the times I felt control over myself was being usurped and taken away, I desperately wanted to fight back to the troll’s words to me. The troll ended by saying that they were glad to finally see me for who I was, and I was mystified with even more anger. This troll was wicked, and I wanted desperately to expose them, but I first wanted to let the troll know I knew the truth about them. In so many words, I wanted to say:

Wow! Do you have a life? I sure do, and every time I get on Twitter, it is not all about you. I was nice enough to respond to you in the first place. You came after me. I do not owe you an explanation of how I choose to respond to you or not. My life does not revolve around you, but that seems to be an expectation you have. Sorry to disappoint but not sorry.

Every time I get onto my account does not mean I have to spend any time with you at all in DMs. Be for real! You do not own me or my time! How can I make this more clear? You seem to have avoided my gentle prodding before that I have things to do, like work, eat, sleep, and whatever else.

Look back over these messages between us. I’m going to screenshot these for reference and proof that I am not the problem here. You dump continuously, and you never allow me the space or time to decompress.

For someone who calls themselves an empath and an intuitive introvert, you never seem to put yourself in my shoes about how it must feel to read all of the stuff you DM me. Do you even consider the mental capacity it might take me to even read all of this? Do you not consider that I have problems?

You are a stranger! I do not know you. You do not know me. You think that dumping your problems onto me proves your intimacy with me? Be for real! You want an ally to side with you, and all you have done this entire time is incriminate yourself as the very thing you are attempting to label me as. You’re calling me a narcissist? Well if the shoe fits, you should look at the reflection you are giving and wear those shoes. I think they fit you better than they fit me.

Just look at all your words! I hate to use them against you, but you have incriminated yourself and marked yourself by the very words you call me. It’s all here in print. Don’t worry, I’m not like you. I won’t publicly defame you even though people should be aware of people like you. For the most part, I don’t think it will be hard for anyone to figure you out anyway. Based on all that you have posted on other people’s platform with them calling you out, it looks like people already know who you really are.

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I’ve mentioned more than once that I’m not a therapist, and I don’t give advice. I can’t fix you or your problems. So do yourself a favor and get some therapy. Or at least reflectively consider yourself as a problem in your own way. You have not only admitted to being a stalker, you have shown how abusive you are as a person to others on social media. Look at the references you’ve posted to me. Those are all your words – not mine.

What have I actually said here that has offended you besides a thumbs-up emoji? If that sets you off, my goodness! No! You were set off because you want to control me. You want someone to empathize with your misdeeds against others. You want someone to dump on. You want to take, take, and take! I have to wonder how many other people’s DMs you’ve hit up and who else you have pulled this craziness on.

But instead, I simply responded:

If I am such a problem and a narcissist for that matter, you should consider blocking me. No need to further entangle yourself. Have a nice life, and stay out of my DMs!

Valuable And Costly Lesson

After the fact, I decided to block the troll and do what kids often say not to do – snitch … even if I ended up in a ditch. I reported the troll to Twitter with proof that the troll was abusive. I saved screenshots of all our communication just in case. This troll seemed dangerous based on how they behaved on the platforms of others. So I wanted to prepare myself in case of the troll’s retaliation.

On the other hand, it occurred to me that maybe this troll was really clueless of their behaviors and could not see that anything they did was wrong. Why else would they send me proof of their abusive behaviors against others without considering these were evidence(s) of their problems? It did not make sense, but I took it all as a sign and a lesson for me to never interact with anyone in my DMs again. One can never be too safe.

The drama of all this impacted me a great deal, and I had taken note of this over time. In just a short time frame, this troll followed me, interacted with a few of my posts, then began sending me DMs. I did not heed my own boundary and chose to continue talking to the troll even after I had specifically said that I was too busy to interact and found DMs to be an issue for me. This was an open door for the troll to continue because I was lenient upon my own boundaries.

Based on the screenshots that the troll sent me about their communication with others via DMs with them, the troll was already a professional at this. The troll targeted anyone who would talk to them. However, in time, the troll would attack their target when the target would stop responding to them or responded too little to them. Perhaps the troll’s ultimate plan was to screenshot their supposed exposure of me by taking their response to me as a narcissist out of context and posting publicly to my platform. Fortunately, I blocked the troll before this could happen.

However, this troll only reiterated the fact to me that I can trust no one even if the person is trustworthy. One rotten apple has spoiled the whole bunch and has proven to be my final time I ever respond to DMs. Yet, there is no greater cost to pay than telling others of my experiences with narcissists only to be thwarted by a possible narcissist on my platform. A troll has the potential to do great damage … undo the very thing you are trying to accomplish. Beware and be aware.

A troll almost always exposes themselves, and I am so glad that this particular troll did just that.

Keep reading for more posts. Thanks!